


What Once Was Lost

by Liyah_Ayerst



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Character Death, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 17:32:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 32,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4314072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liyah_Ayerst/pseuds/Liyah_Ayerst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After stopping Sam from completing the trials, Dean tricks Sam into being possessed by an angel to save his life. Sam, clinging to his hopes of finishing the trials and closing off Hell, allows Ezekiel to stay but he can't forgive Dean so their already fragile relationship falls apart. Sam is taken away from his task once again when the threat of Metatron gaining strength in Heaven draws both himself an Ezekiel into the war for control of Heaven. </p><p>With Sam and Ezekiel away fighting with the angels to remove Metatron from power, Dean is left to respond to the threat of Abaddon alone, where he decides to take on the Mark of Cain. But the trials still loom over Sam and despite his brother's protests he has every intention of finishing them and closing Hell for good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link to the LiveJournal post [HERE](http://liyah-ayerst.livejournal.com/2172.html)

Dean's palms were sweaty; he had to keep wiping his hands on his jeans as he drove. Sam slept on in the passenger seat. Dean simultaneously dreaded and waited for the moment when Sam woke, Ezekiel's warning ringing in his ears. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest, but still he wanted to talk, wanted to blurt out the truth of what had happened even though he knew it would be better to wait. He wouldn't be able to keep this secret for long anyway; Sam would catch on too quick. He would realize something was wrong and would pick at it until Dean exploded, until it became too much and the only outcome would be Sam ejecting the angel and Dean couldn't risk it. At least now if he told Sam straight off the bat, maybe he could get him to see his side. 

Regardless of what Sam had said while he was stuck in the coma, regardless of what Dean had seen when Ezekiel showed him what was happening, Dean knew that Sam would listen. Part of him was obviously willing since he refused to go with Death right away and wanted to hear Dean's plan. of course it wasn't a guarantee that Sam would be okay with this. Hell, he knew that he could explain what he and Ezekiel were doing until he was blue in the face but he knew that Sam would never fully accept being possessed like this. But that didn't matter so long as Sam agreed to stick it out long enough to let himself get healed. That was what mattered. 

So, he had to bring Sam somewhere safe, somewhere that they could talk in peace and he could hopefully explain without either one of them losing it. Sure they've had plenty of heavy conversations between them in the car, but this was the only one that frightened him. He let Sam sleep, knowing that if they had the conversation at the bunker Sam might only retreat to his room, not demand that Dean pull over and let him out on the side of the road. Dean knew he couldn't survive that.  
~~~~~

The sound of the engine echoed around the garage as Dean pulled into the bunker. Dean was surprised the noise didn't even make Sam stir, so he gently shook Sam awake. Groggy and bleary-eyed, it took Sam a minute to get his bearings before stepping out of the car to stretch. 

"We're back? What happened?" He asked through his yawn as they walked down the steps and into the front hall. He stumbled a bit and Dean grabbed his elbow to steady him. Sam rolled his shoulders, wincing at the ache in his body. "What happened with the trials? Where's Crowley?" Dean tried to smile but he only managed an upturn of his lips. 

Dean had hoped that Sam would somehow not immediately ask what was going on, but of course no such luck. He led Sam into the library and leaned against the side of one of the long tables. "We need to talk." He winced at the words, hating what a cliché they were on top of the way they made those little tension lines appear in Sam's forehead. "It's not bad," he added quickly then tilted his head to the side. "Well okay, maybe it is, but it's going to be okay. We just gotta figure it all out." 

Sam stood stock still, staring at Dean with a hint of fear and distrust that made Dean's heart ache. 

"Okay, no listen. Just sit down, please?" Sam hesitated but followed him into the library and perched himself on the edge of a chair at his brother's request. "Look, Sam. The trials...they messed you up man, big time. You didn't just pass out at the church. I had to take you to the hospital."

"What?" He looked down at himself, hands running over his chest and arms in a perfunctory check for injury. "I don't remember...."

Dean closed his eyes for a moment and waved a hand at Sam to cut him off. "You were in a coma. Your insides...they were all burned out. It's bad Sam. The doctors had no clue how to help you, there was nothing they could do. So I...I had to use other...means."

Sam was silent, trying to process all this so he latched on to the one thing that he figured could actually get answered. "Other means. What did...do I even want to know?" Sam bit out, anxiety growing with each word spoken. 

"I was desperate. There wasn't much else for me to do except pray."

"But the angels fell, what would praying possibly do?"

"Yeah well I guess they still have their ears on." Dean answered, waving his hand dismissively. "Who the hell knows what's really going on with this but anyway," Dean shook his head and looked hard at Sam to try and keep himself on track. "One of them answered, said his name was Ezekiel and that he wanted to help. I called Cas and he said we could trust him. Knew him from his garrison or something, I don't remember."

"So...an angel healed me?" There was still a suspicious undertone to his voice but it was clear he was desperately trying to convince himself that this wasn't as bad as Dean's reaction was telling him that it was. 

Dean paused, pain flickering across his features and the next works he spoke were stilted. "He's still healing you. It's...it's going to be a lot of work."

Sam's eyes flicked around the room, trying to see if anyone else was with them even though he knew they had walked in alone. “But if he's supposed to be healing me, why isn't he here? Are you asking if he can stay here? I don't understand. What happens if...if something fails? I mean you said my insides were all burned up so, you know, I can't imagine that there won't be any issues with that." Sam retorted, starting to breathe erratically as he tried to keep from panicking. 

Dean closed his eyes and exhaled slow, unable to look at his brother. "I know where he is, Sam. He's here."

"What?"

"He's inside you, Sam. Ezekiel is healing you from the inside out." As if reacting to the cold dread that settled in the pit of Sam's stomach a warmth slowly spread out around his spine. His heart began to pound, panicking at the thought of another angel possessing him. Seeing the fear, Dean was quick to try and placate. "Please Sam, if he leaves then you die. You can't survive without him. Please I had to, there was no other choice!"

Sam stood, the chair falling over backwards as he stumbled away from Dean. The warmth continued to spread and he could feel it burn in places as if it was clinging with everything it had to stay but the pressure that began to build at the back of his eyes distracted him and a deep but tightly held voice filled his head. _Samuel, let us explain before you expel me. If that is your choice then I will accept it; however, I believe we may all benefit if you allow me to explain what has happened._

"Who are you?" Sam yelled aloud, looking around the room as if refusing to accept that the voice was coming from his own head.

_As your brother said, I am Ezekiel. I am an ally and I only wish to help you._ The blind panic fell away as Ezekiel began to reveal the memories that had been clouded over at the hospital. He saw himself with Death, saw Ezekiel's conversation with Dean. Saw the two of them trick him into giving his consent. Sam didn't try to hold back his tears as he looked at his brother; the betrayal he felt written there plain as day.

"Sammy, please." Dean begged, close to tears himself as he tried desperately to hold it together. Sam took two steps back, eyes darting around the room as he tried to sort out his own racing thoughts as well as listen to Ezekiel's attempts to calm him. 

"I can't...I can't be around you right now. I don't...god Dean how could you do this to me?"

"I'm sorry. I couldn't let you die. I just couldn't." Dean's voice broke and his breath hitched as he lost the battle against his tears. They tracked hot down his cheeks as shaky hands extended towards Sam.

Sam's face fell as he turned away, unable to speak another word as he fled into the bunker. Dean collapsed into a chair wanting to do nothing more than scream. He raked his fingers through his hair, rubbed his hands down his face and clasped them together on his lap. "Please Ezekiel, convince him. Please don't let him leave me." He had no clue if his prayer would be heard but couldn't help it anyway. If Ezekiel didn't get through to him he would lose everything.  
~~~~~

Dean was sure he had never felt time pass as slow as it was now. He got up to head down the hallway several times, before turning and pacing around the table. He dragged his phone out of his pocket every few minutes to check the time and groaned whenever he saw how little had passed. Getting frustrated with himself, he dropped it down on the table and moved into the kitchen. He opened the cabinets and fridge, digging through them all for something to make but there was nothing appealing. He settled on a beer and sipped at it absentmindedly while continuing his rounds in the library. 

Dean was sitting at the table when he heard Sam approaching, the now warm half empty bottle of beer in front of him. Dean looked over to him expectantly, trying to get some sense of what he was going to say by his expression. Dean nodded his head to invite Sam closer but Sam didn't sit down. Instead he stayed standing just outside the entryway and, taking a deep breath to steel himself, met Dean's eyes. 

"I spoke with Ezekiel. And...and spent some time thinking by myself. I'm going to let him stay, Dean." Dean closed his eyes as he sighed, the relief at hearing those words making the tension drain from his body. Sam would get healed, he didn't have to worry about trying to keep this hidden from him. Sam would be okay. 

Sam held up his hand when Dean looked as if he was going to say something. "I'm not done." Dean nodded, trying to not look as worried as he felt at those words. "This was huge, Dean. I still can't believe that you would trick me like that. After everything, I just..." he rubbed one hand over his face and stared down at the floor. "I don't know if I'll be able to get past this, Dean." Looking up to regain his strength, to show him that he meant what he was saying, he finished quietly. "I can't just forgive you and move on. Things won't be the same." Dean's face fell but he nodded, accepting of whatever Sam wanted, of whatever changes to their relationship he might demand so long as he still had Sam alive and with him. Everything else would be fine so long as he had that. 

Sam looked like he was going to keep talking, but after opening and closing his mouth a few times, he simply rapped his knuckles against the door frame, nodded and walked back towards his bedroom. Dean pushed his beer away and dropped his head into his hands. It's not the worst that could have happened. Dean thought, trying to reassure himself. _He could have rejected him. He could be dead. **He could be dead.**_

It felt like there was a fist wrapped around his lungs. But when Sam's footsteps stopped echoing back to him he snatched the bottle back up, taking a swing then grimacing at how flat it had gone. He dropped it back on the table, but hadn't bothered balancing it so it tumbled over, rolling a bit and spilling the rest of the beer over the table. He stared at the small puddle and saw Sam wrinkling his nose, calling him a slob and telling him to clean up before the beer stunk up the place. He started to smile a bit but it died quick when he realized that it would probably be a long time before Sam spoke to him so casually. 

Dean's stomach churned. He hated himself for tricking Sam. Hated Ezekiel for not being strong enough to heal him immediately. Hated Kevin for translating the tablet and telling them about the spell to close the gates. Hated that God couldn't be bothered to make sure that whoever ended up completing the Trials would be okay. Dean snorted and poked at the beer, watching the ripples spread out. Not like God was around anyway. All his worthless angels were here doing fuck all but he couldn't be bothered himself. 

He needed to get up soon. Should really be cleaning up that spill already if he didn't want to smell of beer to linger in the room. But he couldn't bring himself to care. He was pretty sure his legs weren't connected to his brain anyway since they didn't even twitch any time he considered finally getting up. He didn't even notice the fine trembling in his hands as he stared at the bottle. He’d gotten what he wanted but still felt like he lost everything anyway.  
~~~~~

He didn't see Sam for the rest of the night. Sam hadn't come out to get anything to eat, not that Dean could blame him since he couldn't stomach anything either. Sounds would often echo down the halls in the back of the bunker but Dean hadn't heard anything for hours. It was nearing midnight when he finally decided to go to try and get some sleep. 

He walked lightly, not wanting to wake Sam if he had already gotten into bed, but when he got to their bedroom door he paused. It was strange enough that it was left open, but when Dean peeked into the room and saw the bed flat and still made, his stomach dropped. 

Dean flicked the light on but it didn't change what he saw. Looking around the room he noticed a few things missing and the bottom drawer of the dresser slightly open. The bottom two were Sam's because Dean thought it would be hilarious, but leaning down now and pulling them open only made his eyes burn. They were both empty. The small pile of books on the nightstand was gone, and the spare blanket Sam insisted on having, even though they barely used it, wasn't draped over the foot of the bed. 

Dean's chuckle was hollow and he slapped a hand over his mouth to quiet the sound. Even after everything that happened, Dean hadn't expected this. He still expected to walk back to their bedroom and find Sam in it. Back stubbornly to Dean, yes. A pillow tucked between them to keep him from turning over and curling against Dean in the night, sure. But to have him flat out gone? That he never considered. Then again Sam never had the opportunity before. If he was ever upset with Dean the furthest he went was the Impala but since Sam hated sleeping in her he would always come back to the room. Now Sam wasn't limited by that choice. 

Moving back out of the room he looked to the other three in the hallway. The door directly across from his was open so he knew Sam wasn't there, but the door that was on the same side as his room was shut. He leaned against it, pressing his ear to the wood, but he couldn't hear anything so he cracked open the door. The small bit of light that lent him was enough to see a figured curled into a lazy 's' on the bed and the fist squeezing Dean's chest loosened just a bit. It was weak, but Dean was happy to cling to the fact that he had stayed in the same hallway and that they were sharing a wall. He would have to be comforted by that. 

He could barely hear Sam's breaths but was certain that Sam wasn't sleeping yet. Dean let him be though, closing the door with a soft click and returning to his cavernously empty room. He stripped to his undershirt and boxers and hesitantly crawled between the sheets. They were cold. Sam burned hotter than a furnace so they never used to stay that way for long but sleeping alone didn't offer him any warmth. He wasn't expecting to get any sleep before, and now he knew that if he got an hour he'd be lucky. He rolled over to face the shared wall and whispered a quiet "Night, Sammy."  
~~~~~

Sam was itchy all over when he walked back toward the bedroom. He knew rationally that he couldn't feel it, but he can almost imagine that he feels Ezekiel's grace flitting through his brain, picking it apart and absorbing everything that was once just Sam's. It was too early to go to bed but Sam was exhausted. He sat back on the bed, elbows on his knees to hold his head in his hands and exhaled a long sigh. Ezekiel had made every assurance that he could think of to Sam, but none of that was what made Sam agree to this situation. 

After all the wrongs that he had committed in his lifetime, all the terrible things that he was a part of, he was driven to atone for those sins. He wanted - no, he needed to complete the trials. It was the only reason he was going to allow himself to stay alive. They just had to get their hands on another demon. Sam didn't know what happened to Crowley, he assumed Dean left him behind in the rush to get Sam out of there and to the hospital, but there was nothing on the tablet that said the demon had to be ruling Hell 

Thinking about their rush from the church made his stomach twist. Ezekiel had shown him everything that happened since he arrived, but he couldn't be sure that it was all real. How could he possibly tell? It wasn't as if he could go ask Dean about any of it since he clearly had no issue lying to him about Ezekiel in the first place. He suddenly had no desire to be in their bedroom anymore. Stumbling to his feet he ran over to the closet, snatched his duffel out and began to throw his things in. Everything that was his was gathered up and once his arms were full he surveyed the room to make sure he hadn't left anything behind. He had no intention of coming back into this room once he moved to another. 

Satisfied that he had it all, he walked down the hall and took the next room. Dropping his things down in front of the dresser, he started to undress. It wasn't until he was unzipping his jeans that he paused. Ezekiel could see through his eyes. Could see him inside and out. Not even his own body was safe. He felt his eyes burn so he bit down hard on his lower lip, not letting up until he was bleeding. It didn't matter anyway, it wouldn't be the first time that he had to get through something like this. At least Ezekiel couldn't touch him. He undressed down to his boxers and tucked himself into bed. He could feel Ezekiel wanting to speak with him, so he began to run through the old drills that his father put him through to make sure his boys knew how to kill anything and everything. Of course he and Dean had added plenty to it, making it enough of a distraction to keep him occupied. 

Sam drifted in and out of sleep. Every time his body finally started to rest he would jolt awake, heart racing, and it would take ages for him to settle again. He had just started to relax back against the pillows when he heard footsteps and he tensed up. Sam fought to keep still as his door was opened; thankfully Dean didn't say anything to him. He was sure he wouldn't be able to fall asleep again. Ezekiel had been quiet until now, but Sam could feel the same warmth that Ezekiel spread through him earlier and his eyelids grew heavy. Sam groaned and rolled over, meaning to sit up but couldn't quite get his body to cooperate. 

_Sleep, Sam, you need rest._ Before Sam could protest, he was asleep.  
~~~~~

The next morning Dean was up before Sam and even though he was surprised at that change of events, he didn't try to go into Sam's room and see him. Instead he put on some coffee and went down the hallway into the second set of bedrooms to get Kevin. He pounded on the door with a closed fist and hollered “Come on, kid, we've gotta get into the war room and finish getting the computers reset.” Kevin scowled at him when he opened the door. 

“You could ask a bit nicer. It would only hurt you a little bit.” Kevin lead the way down the hallway, muttering to himself about how he didn't even get a thank you for getting all the alarms shut off in the first place. “Are you at least going to tell me what happened?” Dean could hear the frustration in Kevin's voice. It was the same tone he responded with when Dean told him that the Trials weren't completed and Sam needed time to recover. Dean remained silent, of course, and Kevin knew it would be easier to talk with Sam later so he let it drop. 

After finally getting the last flashing light shut down and the computer systems working again, they came back out to an empty library and a near full pot of coffee in the kitchen. Kevin, assuming that Sam was still recovering from the hospital, wandered off to his own room, whereas Dean warmed up a cup of coffee to bring into Sam. 

Dean frowned when he opened the door. All of Sam's things were just piled up on the floor and Sam was still hidden under the covers. "Come on, Sammy, up and at 'em." Dean put the mug down on the nightstand and slapped at Sam's leg. He got only a weak grunt in return while Sam rolled over to face away from him. "We got the computers all reset so hopefully they can help us track everyone down." Still no answer. "Sam?"

"Leave me alone." 

"What, you gunna stay in bed all day? When's the last time you did that, huh?" Dean asked, chuckling. Sam sighed, heavy and annoyed.

"Alright...I'll umm..." Dean scratched the back of his head, turning awkwardly towards the door. "I'll come get you when lunch is ready." 

But Sam wouldn't come out then either. And the dinner that Dean brought him was left untouched. He was less hesitant the next time he returned. 

"Seriously Sam? Still not eating?" Dean stood next to Sam's bed, annoyance clipping his words short, but there was no reaction from Sam. “How long are you going to keep this up for?” His lips pinched into a thin line when he still got nothing in return. “Fine, have it your way. Let me know when you decide to stop acting so childish.” Dean slammed the door as he left and Sam could hear him grumbling as he moved down the hallway. 

Surprisingly, Dean didn't come back to Sam's room the next day. Instead he sent Kevin in with a sandwich and glass of water in the hopes that Sam would eat some to be polite. Dean went in to see him again before going to bed and was somewhat relieved to see that Sam was actually sleeping rather than pretending to be. 

The next day, his relief disappeared. Sam still hadn't gotten out of bed and all Dean wanted to do was go into his room and shake some sense into him. He lasted until lunch time when he brought in Sam's food, placed it down on the bedside table and with forced cheer smiled down at him. “Alright you've gotten your beauty sleep so get some food in you and we can get back out there and figure out what to do about Crowley and the angels.” Dean waved his arm toward the door then when Sam just grunted, Dean frowned. “Come on man, at least say something.” Gritting his teeth, Dean shook Sam's arm hard. Hissing Sam pulled his arm out of Dean's grasp and glared up at him. 

“Fine. Ezekiel let's go," Dean rolled his wrist in a circle, motioning for Ezekiel to take control and speak with him. "He's gotta eat something and if he won't do it you've gotta get out here and do it for him." Sam flinched and turned his face deeper into the pillow, waiting to lose control again.

But Ezekiel didn't. He could feel Sam waiting for it to happen, could hear Dean yelling for him, but he wouldn't come forward. He still felt guilty taking over and forcing Sam to sleep the other night, and continuing to possess Sam let him feel how resigned Sam was to it all. Memories of Meg and Lucifer's possession of Sam spun through his head along with dozens of other memories of what Sam had been put through and since Sam was making no effort to hide them, Ezekiel saw them all. 

After Dean had given up for the time being and left Sam's room, Ezekiel prodded at Sam a bit, asking permission to come forward and when Sam didn't refuse him, he spoke. _If my presence is causing you this much distress then I can leave._ Sam snorted and closed his eyes.

"And just let me die? The whole reason you're here is to keep that from happening."

_You can be returned to the hospital. Once you are on their life support systems I will leave and you will be returned to the state you were in._ He could feel Sam gearing up to interrupt him so Ezekiel quickly continued. _I can return to visit you as often as you wish, healing you from the outside._

Sam hesitated. "Even though you said it couldn't be done?"

_It can...it will simply take months perhaps years before you have truly healed enough to be able to support your own body. Even then I cannot guarantee your complete recovery if you decide to take this option._ Sam chewed on the inside of his cheek, mind racing. Ezekiel let the silence hang between them for a few minutes before softly suggesting that Sam call him whenever he comes to his decision and retreated back away from the forefront of his mind. 

Sam was terrified. He didn't want to be living like this, but being stuck in an indefinite coma and possibly unable to be who he is was not something he wanted either. And he still had no clue what was even going on with him beyond the vague description that Dean gave him. Hit with a sudden burst of energy, he shot out of bed, snatched his laptop from the chair and turned it on as he sat back in bed. His head swam from the sudden movement. Sam rubbed his hands against his temples, face scrunching up as he waited for the dizziness to fade. By the time his vision cleared the computer was blinking at him, waiting for his log in. 

He opened up a new window, fingers hovering over the keyboard when he realized that he didn't even know what hospital he had come from. The answer came unbidden from Ezekiel. Sam clenched his jaw, head tilting to the side as he fought against the flash of anger that brought and instead concentrated on the task at hand. He needed to see for himself exactly what happened to him and the only way to do that was to get access to his medical records. 

It ended up being easier than he thought. He looked up the local doctor's office and called the hospital claiming that their system was down and they were trying to get access to Sam's medical records for a follow up appointment. He managed to sweet talk the receptionist into sending it to him through e-mail and even though he kept his inbox open waiting for it to come, once it did he didn't open it right away. He stared for a few moments, pointer hovering over the message. 

Holding his breath without realizing, he forced himself to open it. His eyes darted back and forth over the information, skimming it until he could see what his diagnosis was. Sam scrubbed his hands over his face as he tried to digest the information but he could barely think.

He let out a harsh laugh that trailed off into a sob that he worked hard to bite back. He had thought the trials were purifying him. Thought they were finally taking out all the evil that had been in him, but of course that wasn't the case. He couldn't be redeemed and even though he could have finished the trials, he still couldn't be saved. There was no cleaning his blood, instead, the trials had been burning him from the inside. There was a brief period where he believed he could have been saved by doing all this, but of course nothing in his life worked out the way he hoped. 

Sam pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes hard enough to see fireworks and fought down the urge to cry for what felt like the hundredth time this week. The trials cleansing him was the last hope he let himself have and it didn't work. He could feel Ezekiel push forward, likely reacting to his latest surge of emotion but Sam lashed out. He swiped his arm to the side as if he could push him away, forgetting himself for a moment and yelling out "NO" into the empty room. He couldn't keep secrets from this angel, but at least he would keep him from jumping in every time Sam was anything but happy. 

Sam shut his laptop, placing it over on the nightstand and putting his phone on top of it. It flashed pathetically at him, needing to be charged, but Sam couldn't be bothered to plug it in. He curled up back under his covers and tried to calm himself down enough to think. His organs had all been burned out, barely working to keep him alive and he knew that the oxygen levels that his brain was getting was the biggest worry for him. He knew that Ezekiel's offer to take him back to the hospital and heal him from the outside was made with the best intentions but truthfully it couldn't work. There was no way he'd be able to recover from this even with the angel assisting with his healing. 

"Ezekiel?" Sam called softly, closing his eyes. "I just want to sleep now please."  
~~~~~

Sam woke up late in the morning feeling truly rested. He had actually and finally made his own decision this time, and that let him get out of bed and into the shower. He didn't actually realize how gross he felt until he started washing himself off and when his stomach rumbled halfway through the shower he began to feel like himself again. 

If nothing else, the double take that Dean gave him once he stepped out into the library was worth it. 

"What do we have for breakfast?" Sam asked, easy as can be as he led the way into the kitchen. Dean heated up some coffee for him while Sam made himself an egg sandwich; the way that Dean hovered around the edge of Sam's vision told him that he definitely had something he wanted to say. 

Instead, after a bit of hesitation, Dean huffed out a breath through his nose, looking irritated with himself. "Yeah well, I'm glad you're up. I was just going to head back and see if you were awake. We've been trying to find anything that might lead us to Abaddon or Crowley. Once you're done eating you can grab your laptop and give us a hand.” Sam shook his head, laughing a bit to himself as he responded. 

"Yeah I am feeling better actually, thanks for asking. I won't push myself too hard, I promise." Sam took the last bite of his sandwich, smiling at Dean with his full mouth who only rolled his eyes and left the room. 

*****************

Though Sam was up now and was slowly accepting the situation he was in, the next few days weren’t any easier. Sometimes Sam would get so caught up on what he was working on that he would manage to forget for a little while then he would end up exploding when it came back to him. He could barely keep track of how he was feeling at any given moment so Dean and Kevin had no hope of keeping up. There was enough stress with Crowley back in Hell and everything happening with the angels, but that all paled in comparison to how thick the air got whenever Sam and Dean were in the same room. Soon Kevin had lost count of how many aborted movements Dean made towards Sam and how hard Sam worked to keep from making eye contact with him. If working on the tablets hadn't given him a headache already, those two would have. 

Coming over to the table, Dean dropped a hand on Kevin's shoulder and looked at his notes. "Any luck on translating?" Kevin shrugged and tapped his pen against his notebook a few times. 

"Nothing new yet, it's not an easy tablet. Harder than the demon one." 

“A few years back I never would have thought that angels would be a bigger pain than demons.” Sam snorted from across the room, the sound heavy with derision. 

"Something the matter, Sam?" Dean asked through a sigh.

"Oh me? You're asking me. Okay." 

"Well who else would I ask?" He returned, throwing his arm out to the side to punctuate his question.

Sam walked over to stand in front of the pair of them and glared at Dean. "I dunno, could be you were looking to maybe have Ezekiel come on over and help. I'm sure he could offer some input."

"Oh come on, Sam!" 

"Who is that? Another prophet? Because if so please invite him to dinner because it would be nice to get a break on this every once in a while."

Dean and Sam both blinked, looking as if they had forgotten about him until he voiced his questions over Dean. Sam smirked, flicking his eyes over to Kevin. "There you go, Dean, tell Kevin all about your new friend."

Dean rolled his eyes but his voice was soft when he spoke. "I figured I'd leave it up to you what you wanted to tell or not."

"Oh how fucking considerate of you. Nice of you to finally think about what I might like."

"Alright, enough." Kevin stood up and jabbed a finger at the brothers. "I am so sick of whatever bullshit is going on between you two. You're constantly at each other and I have no clue what's going on. You keep telling me to put my nose to the grindstone but what have either one of you" he snarled, poking at them again. "Done to help me lately huh? And now someone new is here? Well where the hell is he? He can come help me and you two can go be obnoxious somewhere else!" 

Sam looked properly cowed after Kevin's outburst, truly looking as if he didn't even realize how obvious he had been in his anger and at seeing Sam's shoulders hunch forward Dean sighed. "Ezekiel is...he's an angel we made contact with after we left the church. He's been helping us with uh...with a few things." Sam looked over at Dean, waiting for him to continue explaining it but when he didn't he just nodded. 

"Sorry about the bother, Kevin." Sam trudged back into his bedroom, all the fight drained out of him. Dean watched him go but Kevin wasn't going to let the change in attitude deter him. 

"Okay, so what's the deal with Ezekiel? Why is there an issue with him?"

Dean just held out a hand to quiet him. "Don't worry about it, and just don't bring it up around Sam okay? It's nothing that you need to worry about." Dean walked out and Kevin threw his hands up in frustration, muttering to himself as he tried to force himself to focus on the tablet. 

~~~~~

When Sam found an article detailing the discovery of three long dead bodies on a bus, he jumped at the chance to get out of the bunker and work on a case. He hoped it would lead them to demons, but really at this point he was going to be happy taking down anything. Sam eagerly brought his laptop over to Dean who read over the article then looked up at Sam. “We'll give Irv a call, see if he can check that out for us.” Sam blinked a few times then frowned. 

“No Dean, we need to look into this ourselves. It might lead us to Abaddon. We need to look into everything.” Dean dropped the pen he was holding into his notebook and shifted in his seat but Sam pressed on before Dean could speak. “I know you're worried about me going out right now but I think the hunt might be good. The sooner we can get the rest of this situation figured out the better.” Dean didn't respond and it turned into a staring contest with Dean finally giving in after Sam thrust the laptop in his direction again. 

“Alright alright fine,” he threw his hands in the air when he stood. “Let's go.” 

Whenever Sam used to climb in the Impala he would sprawl across the seat, long legs spreading to try and fit in the foot well. His knee would bend toward the center and every time Dean shifted gears his knuckles would brush against Sam. He used to lean against the window when he was deep in thought or sleeping, otherwise he would lean in, both of them taking up the space in the middle of the seat. Now it's like there's a little wall. Or maybe Sam counted the seams in the leather and decided which one was Too Far outside of his space. Which one put him too close to Dean so he wasn't allowed to cross it. Dean felt like little needles were pressing into his skin every time Sam adjusted in his seat. 

Sam was thrilled to be out of the bunker and actively trying to hunt down Abaddon. It calmed some of that nervous energy that had been thrumming through him for days but he was still anxious about doing this with Ezekiel riding him. He cracked his neck then settled against the window. It killed Dean that Sam was being this quiet because in the back of his mind he knew that Sam was trying to figure something out and he probably wouldn't get anything out of him until they arrived in the city. 

Dean drove over a pothole just for the joy of grinning at Sam when he turned to him with his patented bitch face. 

~~~~~

Sam had insisted that Ezekiel stay under. He rose up to offer some assistance when they finished speaking to the witnesses and learned that they were indeed on Abaddon's trail but Sam had silenced him quickly. There was no way he was going to allow Ezekiel to work this hunt for him. Ezekiel respected that wish, not offering commentary or assistance again when they were gearing up to go into the abandoned town. 

Sam had insisted that Ezekiel stay under and yet for the second time Sam woke in the Impala with no memory of getting there. Once he got his bearings he turned an angry glare onto Dean. 

“Hey easy easy,” Dean took one hand off the wheel to make calming motions at him. “We had to get out of there okay? I couldn't wait for you to wake up.” Sam was furious and Ezekiel pressed forward to speak with him. _Sam, forgive me, however we could not remain there long as more demons would have inevitably shown up._ In that moment Sam felt stubborn enough to prefer that scenario to waking up feeling like this again. 

_I had no choice but to intervene, Sam. The demons would have killed you._ Sam bit his lips shut, glaring at the signs they drove past on the highway since he couldn't turn the look on Ezekiel. The last thing that Sam remembered was being cornered by the three demons in the bar. His brow furrowed, eyes darting as he racked his brain to try and remember beyond that. But his memory was empty between then and waking up in the Impala. _I know you are feeling the effects of my attack and for that I apologize._ Sam shifted, stretching out his shoulders and recognizing the soreness there. He looked to Dean for answers, unable to help that reaction, but before he could ask, Ezekiel continued. _I know that we all desire for this to be a temporary situation; however, using my grace as I did will only result in a longer period of...possession._ He hesitated to speak the word knowing that both of the brothers hated to hear it, but he also wanted to be as blunt as possible to get his point across. 

_The more I need to focus my energies on fighting, the less I have to focus on healing and I am aware how much tension and discomfort that my presence has caused._ Sam looked away. He knew that he had been rude to Dean but he felt ashamed at how he wasn't even trying to hide his feelings from Ezekiel. He bitterly kept down what would have been his usual apology. _I simply wish to make you aware of the situation._

Sam turned away from Dean, resting his head on the window and closing his eyes in the hopes that Dean wouldn't try and talk with him. _Sam?_ Sam's lips tightened into a thin line and he didn't answer. _You do not need to respond, I simply wished to inform you that your brother and I had a conversation while you were still unconscious. I would like to share it with you._ Sam knew that Ezekiel and Dean would have spoken to each other, but the thought of his body doing something while he wasn't in control made him angry. Ezekiel let the memories replay for Sam in the hopes that knowing what happened while he wasn't in control would help calm him. 

//////////

Ezekiel was so overwhelmed by everything Sam was feeling he was barely able to hold back from taking over once the demons attacked them. He lent Sam some of his strength but wasn't quick enough to keep Sam from being knocked unconscious. In taking over he let his rage for Sam take over as well and he felt his broken wings spread in display before exorcising the demons. Ezekiel stumbled, head swimming as he was forced to lean against the bar for support. 

Dean ran in soon after and at seeing him leaning over, he immediately went to him and checked him over for injuries. When his brain caught up and he realized it was actually Ezekiel, he pulled back like he was burned. "Ezekiel? Are...is Sam alright?"

"He was knocked unconscious in the fight. I was given no choice but to take control of his body." He looked over to Dean as if attempting to prove his sincerity. "They were trying to kill him." Dean nodded and ran a hand over his face. Ezekiel wanted to end the conversation there, not wanting to be discussing things concerning Sam when he was still unconscious and unable to see and hear everything going on. But after being reassured that Sam's body was okay, Dean wouldn't look at Ezekiel. He kept shuffling around, checking the bodies again to be sure they were dead and checking his weapons. "You are troubled still."

"Yeah it's just that uhh this is on me. I was the one who talked Sam out of boarding up Hell. Okay so every demon deal, every kill they make, you're looking at the person who let it all happen." 

"You were protecting your brother. I am in Sam's head. Everything he knows I know and I know that what you did, you did out of love."

"Yeah uhh look Zeke, I'm not really with the whole love and...love." 

"But it is why I said yes," he interrupted quickly, moving closer to Dean who just stepped back and looked away. 

"This is nuts. I mean you're Sam but you're not Sam and he's usually the one I'm talking to about all this stuff." He chuckled to himself. "Besides, it's not like I'm getting that love back anymore. Not after tricking him like this so thanks for that." He cut off the conversation by turning to angrily start putting their weapons away in the duffel. "I'm trusting you, Zeke. You better not make me regret that." Ezekiel knew well enough to keep quiet after that and no matter how hard he wanted to reassure Dean with Sam's feelings he knew it wasn't his place to speak. The brothers would make up in their own time as they always did.

//////////

Ezekiel allowed Sam to return to the present then retreated back into him to allow Sam his privacy. He pushed himself deep into Sam in order to try and get rid of as much of the bone-deep weariness that Sam felt. He knew it really wasn't as effective a healing method but every day when they woke up, he could feel the pain and anger Sam felt at being so physically weak. He could understand, even more so now at being exposed to the memories of Lucifer, and it helped Sam become more real to him. He wasn't just the boy who defied his fate anymore and Ezekiel wanted to weep for all the scars he came across inside him. 

It must have been hours later when he rose up to gain some awareness of his surroundings. He wasn't sure what drew him at first but then he heard Sam call for him again. His voice was quiet, timid. Ezekiel offered his customary pulse of warmth. "I umm...I know I didn't say it earlier so I wanted to thank you for saving me." Ezekiel responded with a small pulse, letting the moment pass because he knew how difficult it has been for Sam to thank him. Knew how frustrated and angry he was to know that he couldn't get through this hunt on his own, knowing that he once again owed his life to this angel. Yet it wasn't enough to keep Sam from being grateful so Ezekiel retreated again to let Sam continue getting ready for bed in peace.  
~~~~~

The next morning when Kevin came out into the library, he could smell breakfast cooking in the kitchen. Walking in, he was surprised to see Sam standing at the stove since Dean was typically the one who handled the cooking. Sam smiled at him and motioned to the two plates sitting on the island. "Just waiting for the bacon to finish up." 

Kevin mumbled a thank you through his yawn and sat down, rubbing his eyes. Sam slid three pieces of bacon onto each of their plates to join the eggs and toast and sat down next to him. They ate in silence for a few minutes but then Sam cleared his throat and pushed his half eaten meal away from him. 

"Alright I guess it's only fair to keep you updated on the situation so I just wanted to let you know," Sam trailed off and Kevin could tell that he was hesitant so he keep quiet, continuing to eat to give Sam some more time to compose himself. Sam took a deep breath, gripped his forearm tightly, and closed his eyes. "That angel Dean was talking about, Ezekiel?" Kevin made a soft noise to show he remembered. "He's possessing me." Sam let out a breath on a hard exhale. "The trials got pretty close to killing me and I guess the only way to keep me from dying was to allow me to be possessed." Sam's breath hitched as he spoke and Kevin couldn't help but jerk back a bit, heartbeat picking up as he looked to Sam. His only interaction with possession was with his girlfriend and his mother and neither instance had ended well. He tried to tell himself that it was probably different with angels but his reaction had already done the damage. Sam was gripping his arm tight enough to definitely leave bruises and he looked ready to flee so Kevin took a deep breath and turned to fully face Sam. 

"You're being possessed?" He asked cautiously. "How...shit I mean how do I know this is you? That it isn't the angel?" Sam snorted and shrugged in a completely defeated gesture. 

"I don't think I can really prove that to you other than by giving you my word. He's agreed to help us and that's why I wanted to tell you, He can probably help with the tablet." Sam glanced over at Kevin who hadn't quite managed to remove enough panic from his features so Sam quickly looked back down to the countertop. "Sorry to just dump it on you, but I only thought it was right that you know."

Kevin nodded, scratching the back of his head as he mulled it all over. "You're alright though, yeah? I mean it can't be pleasant to have that happening," he trailed off dully, wincing a bit at his choice of words.

"I'm alright enough to see it through. It's just something that I have to deal with until we solve these situations with the angels and closing Hell." He finally chanced another look up at Kevin and offered him a weak smile. "But it won't all be on you now. Ezekiel can't read the Word of God but he can help with translating and explaining things." He stood up and brought his plate over to the sink, leaving the dishes for Dean to clean up. "But I didn't want you to feel stuck in the middle between Dean and I anymore so I'll try and keep it down." 

Kevin just nodded, watching Sam leave with a quiet "Alright Sam, thanks", picking at his bacon and feeling a cold pit sink down into his stomach. 

*****************

The next day Sam and Dean were finally able to get in touch with Castiel. "Cas finally, where have you been?" Dean put the phone on speaker and placed it on the table between them. 

"Umm I've managed to get to Emery, Iowa." Cas' voice was weary and the connection was weak, making him sound like he was talking from far away from the phone. "I have no more money and I have so far been unable to secure another ride." 

"That's alright, that's alright we'll come get you okay?" Dean nodded to Sam who had already brought up directions to the city on his laptop. "Ahh crap, we probably won't be able to get there until tomorrow morning. You got someplace to stay for the night?" The line crackled and they thought they had lost him for a moment but it cleared again. 

"-- some gentlemen who were at the bus stop. It's where I am now. They said that this shelter would let me stay." 

"You're at a homeless shelter, Cas?" Sam asked, forehead creasing with worry. "Alright don't go too far, yeah? Stay there and hopefully it'll be low key enough where the other angels won't come looking." Castiel hung up after giving them the address a volunteer had provided him and Dean turned toward the staircase. 

"Alright, let’s get him and get back here quick. Hopefully the warding will help keep him under the radar for a while." 

"Hey Dean? Why don't you head up and get Cas. I think I'll stay here and help Kevin work on the tablet."

Dean frowned and looked Sam over, noticing the dark circles under his eyes and reaching out to brush his cheek. Sam kept from moving away from the touch but Dean recognized that he was uncomfortable and leaned back to give him more space. "You still feeling worn out from yesterday?" At Sam's nod he continued. "Alright. You stay and work on that and I'll be back as soon as I can, yeah? Call me if you need anything." 

"Drive safe." Sam gathered up his laptop to clear room on the table for Kevin's notebooks then called for Kevin as Dean shouted a goodbye from the door. Kevin came out and grabbed the chair next to Sam. 

"Where's Dean heading off to?"

"Going to get Cas and bring him back here. I figured I'd stay and help you out a bit," he said with a smile, flipping open Kevin's latest notebook and pulling the Enochian texts toward himself to help translate. They managed to get through about an hour of work before Sam's head started to pound. Ezekiel had been helping as much as he could but it was still taking a lot out of Sam, who really just wanted to go back and sleep for another few hours. 

_Hey Ezekiel? You want to just come out and do with without me?_

There was some hesitation before Ezekiel answered. _I do not wish to control your body without your permission. You would not mind if I did so?_

_Well it's probably easier for you to see all this as is. I'm not going to be much help if I fall asleep before we even get through the next sentence._

There was still some hesitation but Ezekiel agreed, informing Sam that he would return control to him as soon as they were finished working for the day. Sam's eyes flashed blue as Ezekiel came forward and he looked over to Kevin who returned the look warily.

"So you're Ezekiel I guess?" The angel nodded. "Alright. This is too freaky."

"I only wish to assist you with the tablet. Sam thought it would be easier if I took control for a short amount of time."

Kevin just looked at him for a long moment then hunched back over the piece of stone. "Whatever, let's get back to it then." As he wrote down the Word Ezekiel was able to translate much quicker but still with half the tablet almost done, they were unable to find any mention of reversing the spell which caused the fall.  
~~~~~  
Castiel knew objectively that he shouldn't let the rain bother him, but he was already so cold. He didn't want to walk the several blocks back to the shelter and the doorway he was huddled in managed to keep most of the rain off him. He was gearing himself up to take the step out when the door behind him opened and the young waitress who he had met earlier stepped out, April, her name tag read. She stopped at the sight of Cas, and looked ready to run back into the restaurant when she recognized him. 

"You were here earlier, right?" Castiel nodded, smiling to make himself seem less threatening. "Did you eat? Are you still hungry?" 

"More cold than anything," he countered, looking back out into the rain. 

April looked down to the umbrella held tightly in her hand then back to Castiel. She bit her lip and seemed to make up her mind. "Do you...do you have someplace to stay tonight?"

"I was intending on staying at the shelter. I was told there would be a spot for me there." 

"It's not the greatest place. Funding isn't that good and it gets pretty crowded. We bring food over a couple times a week and there never seems to be enough." Her voice grew steadier as she stepped forward and gestured to him. "You can stay at my place for the night so long as you promise not to try and kill me or anything." Castiel blinked a few times then smiled at her. 

"That's very generous of you." Cas said, smiling brightly, repeating the sentiment later when he stepped out of her steaming bathroom wearing the loose clothes she had found for him. 

“It's the least I could do. It wouldn't any good to have you crowded in with all those people.” She slid a plate over the counter and Cas eagerly began eating the sandwich she had made for him. He was so focused on filling his empty stomach that he didn't notice how closely she was watching him or how she glanced over to his small pile of belongings on the coffee table. 

“Well it's been a long day. I better get to bed.” Moving back into the living room she finished making up the couch for him. She wished him goodnight then walked past the coffee table to get into the bedroom. Cas finished his sandwich and picked up the cell phone that April had forgotten on the counter. He called and left a message with Dean before bedding down for the night, grateful for the blankets she left for him.  
~~~~~

He woke to find the point of his own Angel blade pressed against the hollow of his throat; it took a moment for him to get past his confusion. "......April?"

She smirked at him. "Good morning, Castiel." She hissed. "You're a hard one to track down." Castiel shifted a bit to try and press himself back away from the blade and in that moment realized that his hands were bound together in front of him with a belt. "You have caused far too much trouble for us. First trying to take over Heaven, and then kicking us all out. Do you know how much work we had to do to clean up your mess?!" She flicked her wrist and cut along his collarbone, the grit of her teeth showing that she wanted to do much more but was able to pull back. "But Bartholomew has taken charge now and he isn't happy with you. So you're going to tell me exactly how to reverse the spell so he can lead us back into Heaven where we belong." 

Castiel closed his eyes. He knew there would be other angels after Hael, others who blamed him for their situation and wanted to punish him. He knew he deserved it just like he knew he could never convince them that he was betrayed just as much as they were. When he didn't answer her, April cut into his chest. "Tell me how!" Nothing he said could placate her so she continued to hit and cut him to try and force the answers out of him. 

April's head jerked up as there were three sharp knocks on the door. She and Castiel both paused, holding their breath for a moment until Cas took a chance at guessing who was there and yelled Dean's name before rolling off to the side to avoid April's attempt to stab him. There was a loud thud against the door and Cas could hear his name being shouted from the hallway but couldn't quite be relieved yet because he was still attempting to avoid being stabbed. He let out a pained shout when she caught his shoulder, the blade sinking in a few inches before he was able to wrench back away from it. 

The door splintered in and Dean stumbled over the pieces of the door but his hands were steady as he raised his gun, taking in the sight before him in mere seconds and firing off a few rounds into April's stomach. The force pushed her back and the glow of her grace leeched out. Cas kicked at her knee while she was distracted to try and force her down to his level. He grappled with her over the blade but the pain in his shoulder kept him from getting a grip. He was, however, able to stall enough to allow Dean to get over to them and pin her down. Dean twisted the blade out of her hand and plunged it into her chest without a second thought. 

Castiel fell back against the couch panting and holding his shoulder but he smiled at Dean. "Hello, Dean. Thank you for coming." Dean rolled his eyes but winced sympathetically when he saw the blood leaking down his arm. 

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up and out of here before any of the neighbors come calling." He ran into April's room to grab a sweater and tie a sling for him then pressed another shirt to the wound itself. Dean helped Cas to his feet and they ran out to the car. 

"You do know that you can't blame us anymore for you getting almost killed since clearly you can do it all on your own." Dean teased Castiel, grinning over at him as they turned onto the highway and out of the city. 

"I wasn't aware that she was an angel; I can no longer see their grace. April claimed she was able to assist me and I had no reason to doubt her."

"Always doubt man, always doubt." Dean smacked his open palm high on Castiel's chest a few times before checking out the road signs. "Pick what you want to bring everyone home for dinner and when we stop I'll get you stitched up."  
~~~~~

"Sam, Kevin we're back." Dean shouted, dropping a bag of burritos in the kitchen. "And guess who I found." 

"Cas!" Sam smiled wide, standing to greet him. "You're alright." Castiel nodded then turned to greet Kevin before guiding Sam off to the side.

"And you, Sam? Are you well?" Sam shrugged but Cas pressed the issue. "I had no idea that Ezekiel would have to take these lengths. I can't quite say that I fully understand your feelings on the matter but I can imagine they wouldn't be favorable."

"Cas, I appreciate it, I do. But it had to be done. I can't finish the trials if I'm dead. I just need to deal with it until we get it done." Sam smiled, squeezing Cas' uninjured shoulder in an attempt to reassure him so Cas sighed and let the subject drop. 

"Very well. May I speak to him?"

Sam nodded and closed his eyes. _Hey Ezekiel? Castiel wants to speak with you._

_Castiel? He is here?_ Sam felt him press forward and then his confusion. _Who is this man?_

Sam blinked. "He doesn't recognize you." 

"I'm not surprised. We don't often recognize the vessels of our kin. And I have no grace left to speak of so." Castiel lifted his hands in a 'what can you do' gesture and Sam tried to smile but he had no idea how to console him on that front so he simply slipped back and allowed Ezekiel to come forward. 

"Castiel." Ezekiel's voice was hesitant, but when he reached forward to heal the wound on his shoulder, Ezekiel could see the places between the body's DNA where Castiel's grace would fit and he smiled softly. "Brother." Cas returned the smile, reaching up to grasp Ezekiel's arm. 

"Are you and Sam healing well?" 

Ezekiel nodded. "He is adjusting to my presence. However both of us hope to resolve the situation as soon as possible." Ezekiel looked through the doorway to see Dean and Kevin already eating their dinner. "They have informed me that Metatron was the cause of the fall? That you were used by him?" 

Castiel sighed and explained how he was led astray by Metatron and how his grace was stolen to complete the spell, which was why it was assumed that he was the cause of the angel's current situation. Castiel expected Ezekiel to have the same negative reaction, but instead he assured him that he would work to clear his name. 

"The Prophet and I have made progress on translating the tablet. We will reverse this and restore Heaven to its former glory." Cas had no response, but was saved from it by Dean calling out to them. 

"Come on guys, food's getting cold. Get in here and eat, we're taking the night off." Castiel wandered in and Sam trailed behind. 

_Are you alright, Ezekiel?_ Sam could feel the angel's unhappiness at seeing Castiel. 

_It is strange seeing him now after what he did in Heaven. He slaughtered so many of our brethren. I lost faith in Castiel after he tried to take over our home, as did many others. It is likely that is why so many are quick to blame him for our current situation._

_I can't imagine what it must have been like to see that. It was bad enough what he did on Earth._ Sam winced at the memory of what Castiel had done while housing all the souls from Purgatory. Dean tilted his head curiously, silently asking what was wrong but Sam just shook his head and continued eating. Dean frowned, taking a vicious bite as he glared down at the table. 

_And I will admit,_ Ezekiel continued. _That it is odd to hear that he will be assisting us in attempting to unseat Metatron. I did not expect it from him._

_Cas is trying to atone for what he did. As I'm sure you've noticed when you're a Winchester and you make a mistake it leads to lots of death and destruction. Cas has been around us long enough for that to wear off on him as well._

Dean balled up his wrapper and threw it down on the table. “We'll if we're all done having our conversations,” he glared at Sam. “I'm going to get us some beer.” Sam just rolled his eyes and let Dean stomp off.  
~~~~~

The reassurance of having everyone together again didn't last long. They were able to get a decent plan together in terms of trying to track down Metatron and how to remove him as a threat once they had the spell figured out, but Castiel was getting more restless each day. He came out when Dean was cooking lunch one day with a backpack filled with the belongings that he gathered while living at the bunker and announced that he was leaving. 

"It isn't safe for me to be here. The bunker isn't warded against angels and if we were to do so, then Sam wouldn't be able to remain here. It's better that I leave so if any others are successful in tracking me down, it won't put the rest of you in danger." Nothing that anyone said could sway him so instead they all drove him down to the bus station in Lebanon. 

"Where are you going to go?" Sam asked, glancing over to the ticket booth. But Cas wouldn't give a straight answer. 

"I've gotten in contact with a friend. They've agreed to let me stay with them."

Dean snorted. "A friend? You sure about that? No getting stabbed this time around?" 

Cas smiled and winked. "I have great faith in this friend. They will not allow any harm to come to me." 

"Just keep us posted, yeah?" Sam made him promise as he hugged him goodbye. Sam tugged Dean back to the car. "Come on, Dean. He'll be alright."

"You can say that since you weren't the one who walked in on him getting tortured." Dean slammed his door with a huff, fidgeting to get comfortable but not starting the car yet. "Who the hell else does he even know besides us?" Kevin laughed from the backseat.

"Hard to believe there'd be room for anyone else with the Winchesters involved." Dean glared at him in the rear view mirror but did start the car and pull away. 

 

*****************

Sam had to struggle to keep still in his chair. They had done a lot for their cases in the past; taken on more identities than he could remember, told enough lies to last a dozen lifetimes but this was a first. It had been awkward enough this afternoon when he signed his name (his given name for once, which made his insides do an odd twist) on the chastity pledge but now sitting in the church basement with a group of women looking at him curiously it was much worse. He had hoped that they could sit in on the meeting quietly, get the information they needed and leave without having to go to another meeting, but of course he had no such luck. 

"Why don't we hear from our new friends? Sam, what brought you here to reclaim your virginity?" 

Sam looked up and blinked. His leg bounced a few times but he took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. “Well, I guess because every woman I’ve ever had...relations with, uh…it…hasn’t ended well.” His voice trailed off as he thought about Jess, Madison and reluctantly Ruby. Then his thoughts strayed to Meg and Lucifer and, his breath hitched, Ezekiel. He didn't want to be thinking about all the times someone had touched him against his will and knowing that Ezekiel could see every memory as it flashed behind his eyes made his stomach roll. 

Dean reached out for him, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly as he looked to the group. "So I came along with him to help him through, just like any good brother would, right?" He jostled Sam a bit, grinning brightly and trying his best to reassure Sam. 

The ladies were silent for a few moments before the woman to Sam's right hesitantly spoke up. "Is there something that maybe you'd like to discuss with us? We're all here to help." She smiled softly at him and Sam did his best to smile back. 

"Maybe next time," he replied gratefully. "I'd like to just listen in today, if that's alright." They all nodded, smiling at him as Suzy spoke up to get the rest of the meeting going.  
~~~~~

After the meeting was over Sam stayed behind to talk with Tammy and the others about the members that went missing while Dean walked Suzy home. "It's really nice of you to join and support your brother. Not many people would do that." Dean shrugged and looked around her apartment. 

"Yeah well, it's the least I could do."

Suzy smiled and picked up a stack of books off a side table. "Well, regardless of your reasons, you still signed so you have to hold to your pledge." She said with a bit of a teasing tone to her voice. "Here's those books I promised you. I'm sure that Sam will find something useful in there and he's welcome to come talk to me one on one if he'd like to discuss something." 

Dean shuffled through the books, glancing at the titles and trying to not roll his eyes at some of them. "Yeah thanks. I'm sure he'll have gone through these before bedtime." He grinned at her and placed them down on the small dining table. "You do a lot of one on one counseling? Did any of the others come to see you before they disappeared?" 

Sighing heavily, Suzy dropped down onto her couch and motioned for Dean to join her. "Yes. Usually when we get new members I'll speak to them alone to see what they want from the group. Then after that," she shrugs. "I'm there just for whatever they need." Dean sat down next to her and waited for her to continue. "Barb came to see me the day before they disappeared." Suzy's eyes began to tear up and she dropped her head into her hands. Dean draped an arm over her shoulder. "What if I told her the wrong thing, you know? What if it was something I said that led to her getting kidnapped?" 

Dean pulled her in closer and let her cry. "You can't know that. You can't blame yourself for any of it. And I'm sure that when the police find them she'll tell you the same thing." Pulling back a bit Suzy sniffled.

"You think so?" 

Dean nodded and brushed her cheek with his knuckle. "I do. Trust me, she'll be so happy to be back she's not going to worry about anything except a hot shower and her bed."

Suzy couldn't help but laugh as she pulled back and wiped at her face. "You're sweet Dean, thank you." She patted his hand twice. "Will you pray with me?"

Dean balked but smiled awkwardly to cover it up. "Sure. Every little bit helps, right?" Peeking at her out of the corner of his eye, he followed her lead and bowed his head. He waited for her to start speaking but when she didn’t, silently threw together a stilted prayer followed by a too enthusiastic 'amen', spoken with Suzy. They stood and Suzy wiped her face again before smiling at Dean. 

"I don't want to keep you for much longer, you'll probably be wanting to get back to your brother." Dean smacked his thighs as he stood up and followed her to the door. She handed him the books again and pulled him into a tight hug. "Thank you again, Dean." She leaned in to kiss his cheek and before she could step away a blue light shone through under the door and Suzy screamed as the door flung open.  
~~~~~

"Hey." Sam greeted Jody as he walked into the hotel room, dropping down into the chair across from her and pulling out his laptop. 

"How was church?" She asked, a smirk curling up her lips. 

"Well, it turned into confessional. Apparently, two of our vics, Honor and Pastor Fred, did the dirty."

"Oh, well, they're not the only ones." Jody sat back, right eyebrow rising as she continued. "Barb Blanton -- our missing bride to be -- Her mom said she heard Barb and her fiancé in Barb's bedroom."

"Going at it?" Sam asked, chuckling.

"Well, she said she heard sex noises, then Barb crying, then Neil telling Barb it didn't count because it was under 30 seconds." Sam shook his head, still chuckling lightly at the mental image that created. "And then, two hours later, she heard a smash and saw a flash of light under the door.

"Blue light?" Sam asked, brow furrowing as he sat forward and began typing. 

Jody nodded. "You know, I'm thinking whatever this thing is, it's not going after virgins, even born-again virgins."

"It's taking virgins who break their chastity vow. So dragons are off the list..." Sam trailed off as he began to look through his searches. 

Jody blinked a few times then sat forward, putting her elbows on the table in front of her. "I'm sor-- dragons? Those are a thing?"

"Yeah." Sam's eyes flicked up to look at her briefly. "Too many things are things." They fell silent then, save for the clicking of Sam's keyboard, and Jody took the chance to look him over, smiling softly but sadly as she was able to take in his full appearance since they’d last met up. 

"You know, for being born again today, you sure look like crap."

Sam snorted. "I'm sure you looked great after you were born again." 

"Oh, Sam. I don't make promises I can't keep." She replied with a wink. "It's just...I enjoy church. I mean, after Bobby and after Crowley I needed something that made sense to me. You know, comfort, I guess."

"Yeah, we're all looking for that," Sam replied, smiling sadly. 

"Except those that got it." Sam tilted his head a bit, looking puzzled as he waited for her to continue. "Come on. You and Dean? That's something special, don't you think?" Sam winced a bit, looked out the window and shrugged. Jody waited for him to say something; when he didn't, she reached over and placed a hand over his. "What is it, Sam? What happened?" 

Sam closed his eyes and sighed, wanting nothing more than to tell Jody what happened. He didn't want it to get in the way of solving the case and he knew that would be exactly what was going to happen. "We umm. I don't really know if what we have right now would be considered special. He did something that I honestly I don't know if I'll be able to forgive him for." Jody nodded and turned her hand so she could hold Sam's in hers. 

"You boys end up in situations that I can't really claim to understand. But if you need me, you know I'll always be here for you. Even if it's just to hear a voice that isn't Dean's every now and then." Sam laughed softly, and Jody squeezed his hand when he looked over at her. "Just keep me in mind, alright?" Sam nodded and Jody stood up, pulling him into a tight hug before bringing him a bottle of water and getting back to their research. 

Sam dug through over a dozen more sites before checking his phone, leg bouncing in agitation as he saw nothing from Dean. He picked it up, about to try calling him again when Jody spoke up. 

"Hey. Virgins, fire -- sound familiar?" Sam got up to read over her shoulder. 

"Vesta, Roman Goddess of the Hearth."

"In ancient Rome, six virgins were dedicated to this chick every year. Their main duty was to tend Vesta's hearth and the girls had to be pure since fire is the symbol of purity. So as long as Vesta's fire was kept lit, Rome received a good harvest." Jody muttered to herself a bit as she kept reading. "Oh the virgins had to stay celibate for 30 years. If they broke their vows, they were buried alive." Jody tapped on the screen and turned her head to look up at Sam. "You think that's where these poor saps ended up?" 

Sam shrugged. It was looking more plausible as they kept reading but he sincerely hoped not because if they were buried alive, chances were very slim that they would be alive by the time they were found. He scrolled down a bit further on the page and nudged Jody. "Look, Vesta was often enveloped in a blue halo of light which she could control at will to disorient, to maim, or to kill. So there's our light."

"Okay, what about some way to kill her? Does it talk about a weapon or something?" Sam's cell phone rang before he could answer and he huffed out a relieved breath when he saw who it was. 

"Dean?"

"Sam! Sammy!" Sam's stomach dropped at the worried tone of Dean's voice. 

"Dean. Hey. Where are you? What happened?" 

"Hey, listen to me. I'm -- " The phone crackled, static cutting Dean off and Sam had to ask twice to get him to repeat himself. 

"I'm underground!"

"Underground where?" Sam asked, tapping Jody's shoulder to get her attention as if she wasn't already listening. "I can't hear you too well."

"We're -- some kind of --" The phone beeped as the call was dropped and Sam swore, already trying to call Dean back. 

"I lost him. But he's trapped underground somewhere. I can only assume that the others are there too. It has to be this Vesta chick." Sam started to dig through his duffel and pull out weapons. "Is there some kind of train station around here or something? I could have sworn I heard a whistle." Jody quickly searched on the computer and nodded. 

"Here we go. 8:00 p.m. train out of Sioux Falls. The tracks run over by the east side of the city. On map view it looks like there's a lot of farm area around it." 

"Alright, let's go." Sam put on his jacket and was halfway to the door before Jody stopped him. 

"Aren't you forgetting that we have no weapon for her?" Jody pointed at the screen. "We've got to get an oak stake and dip it in virgin's blood." Sam nodded and Jody followed as he ran outside. "Where are we gonna get a virgin? It's not like we can just go up and ask someone for their blood."

Sam put a hand to his chest. "We can just use mine.”

Jody just looked over at him as she got into the Impala. "Yeah I think we need the real McCoy here, Sam."  
~~~~~

Jody wiped Tammy's blood from the handkerchief onto the stake they had fashioned out of a fallen branch as they stepped out of the Impala and cautiously moved toward the barn. They went opposite directions as soon as they entered, and Sam quickly stumbled upon a half covered trapdoor. It wouldn't open when he tugged so he called Jody over to help him, then had to shush her when he thought he heard someone calling his name. It happened again at the same time that someone rattled the trapdoor. 

"Dean?! Dean is that you?" He tugged at the door again. "Hold on, we're going to get you out of there!" He was looking up to try and find some tools he could use to get the door off his hinges when Judy was slammed into him and they both hit the back wall. 

"I knew something was off about you when you came here. I should have known you were hunters," Bonnie snarled, lowering her hand that was still glowing a faint blue. "I should have realized the moment your brother left with Suzy." She huffed tossing her hair over her shoulder. "I know his type. I saw it the moment he came into the meeting. He has no regard for purity, he would have taken any girl in that group if he had half a chance! I can't imagine that you're any better," she finished, watching Sam and Jody get back to their feet. 

Pulling out his gun, Sam fired off a few shots and Bonnie howled in pain, flinging her arm to toss him to the side again as she lunged forward and got a hand around Jody's throat. She snarled as she dragged her over toward a raised and bloody slab. "Now this is all that I have to work with. Pathetic 'born-again' sluts." Jody swung and caught her on the jaw, but Vesta only grunted and slammed her back onto the tablet. "I'm going to eat your liver, then I'm going to kill your friend, and then I'll leave the rest underground to starve." 

“Really, this is how a goddess acts? Burying people in a barn, kind of pathetic, don’t you think?” Jody struggled as Vesta attempted to strap her down and continued taunting her. "No wonder they forgot about you, you aren't worth the wasted prayer." Vesta grabbed Jody's jaw, covering her mouth with her hand and leaning down to snarl at her. Taking advantage of the distraction, Jody pulled the stake out of her belt and raised her arm; Vesta turned and grabbed her wrist.

"I don't think so..." Vesta wrenched the stake from her grasp and held it over her chest. "This is how a Goddess acts." Back on his feet, Sam rushed forward, tackling Vesta from behind, making her fall forward. The stake stabbed into Jody's shoulder. She howled in pain as Sam tried to get Vesta pinned down. Vesta pressed her glowing hand against his stomach and he felt his insides twist in pain, making Sam jerk back and give her the upper hand. Her victorious grin fell flat quickly as she looked down at Sam. 

"Your liver. It's -- it's no good. Dear boy, you're all duct tape and safety pins inside. How are you alive?" Before she can get any sort of answer, Jody grabbed Bonnie's shoulder and shoved the stake in through her back. A flash of blue flame burst out of the wound in Vesta's chest and she fell over, dead and still burning. Jody helped Sam to his feet and he tied his over shirt around her shoulder to slow the bleeding. 

The sound of the trapdoor rattling finally registered to the pair and Sam dropped to his knees in front of it panting heavily. "S'okay Dean, we got her. We'll get you guys out in a minute."  
~~~~~

Sam walked Jody out to her car, carrying her bag for her since her left arm was tucked away in a sling. She smiled at him. "I'm glad that Dean's alright. And that I know to keep an eye out for dragons now." Sam laughed and shrugged as if to say 'keep an eye out for anything'. Her gaze grew soft and she pulled Sam into a lingering hug. "Listen, I don't know what happened between you two, but I don't want to leave here thinking that I may have to send separate Christmas cards from now on. You going to be alright?" She kept her hand on his arm, wanting to keep that contact with him as they spoke. 

"I...I think I will be. I haven't exactly been given any other choice." Jody rubbed his arm, silently urging him to continue. "What Vesta said, it's true. I should be dead right now. And I don't mean because of the job, but it's...Dean and I tried to do something that should have killed me. He stopped me from finishing it but my body couldn't hold on much longer." Sam closed his eyes, not wanting to look at Jody. "So he allowed an angel to possess me so that I could be healed." 

Jody gasped, her grip becoming bruisingly tight. "What?!" Her voice made Sam try and curl into himself even more. "Are you still possessed now? Sam, what the hell did he do?" Sam nodded and chanced a glance up at her, the anger in her features making him switch their positions to grab onto her arm. "I'm gonna go and give him --"

"No. Jody no it's fine. Ezekiel and I have come to an agreement." She eyed him warily and he rushed to reassure her. "He's helping us finish what we started. I just have to deal with it for a little while longer."

"Deal with it? DEAL with it? Someone else is inside your body and you don't want them there and you are telling me that you just have to deal with it? You don't have to do anything, Sam, this is wrong.” Jody squared her jaw and started to pull away. “And I'm going to go give that brother of yours a piece of my mind. There's no way he could do this to you after everything you've been through!" 

"Jody, please." The exhausted and defeated tone in his voice made her pause. "It's not worth it." 

“Of course it is. How can you think otherwise?” 

“Because that's just how it is. We need his help to finish this anyway.” 

“That's not an excuse.” Her voice softened, trying to get Sam to understand. 

“You can tear him a new one when this is over. Trust me I won't be stopping you then. But I'm letting him stay for now. It's my choice.” 

"Alright, Sam, alright. I won't say anything. Yet. But don't think I won't be checking in on you. I'm not okay with any of this." Finally letting go she pointed at Sam, staring at him in the way that made him feel like he was the one a foot shorter. "And don't you think I won't figure out how to take down an angel if you fuck up, you hear me?" Sam couldn't help but laugh softly before passing on Ezekiel's understanding of her message. She hugged him again, trying to show him how much he meant to her through that hug, pressed a kiss against his temple and climbed into her truck. "I gotta get out of here before I can't keep the fight back anymore. You keep me posted you hear?" Sam nodded and patted the roof of the car as she drove off.


	2. Chapter 2

"YES!" Dean jumped, nearly knocking over his chair at the shout coming from the library. "YES HOLY SHIT!" Running in, he saw Kevin latched onto Sam's shoulders as he pulled him down into a frantic hug. His grin was blinding as he turned to Dean. "We did it!! We finished translating the spell! I don't have to read this fucking thing anymore! My eyeballs aren't going to fall out of my face!" Sam was too busy laughing to do much, but Dean held his hands out in front of him, making a calming gesture.

"Alright! Alright, that's great. Can you maybe stop jumping around for a minute so we can keep working?" He laughed while walking over and snatched up Kevin's notebook. Kevin slapped it out of his hands.

"Don't look yet. Just let me enjoy this victory for a little bit longer before you go all Hunter Mode and put me back to work." Dean rolled his eyes and let Kevin get the celebration out of his system before attempting to read the translation again. Kevin let him this time; by now he had dropped back into his chair, the burst of energy he had been given fading quickly. 

Unfortunately for him, Dean did in fact go into Hunter Mode as he frowned down at the list of ingredients needed to cast the spell. "You do realize how impossible half these things are to get right? How are we going to do this?"

Sam shrugged, still smiling because, unlike Dean, he was glad to have made at least this much progress and wasn't going to let the task ahead take that away from him. "We'll figure it out."

"Yeah, until we get to this last bit." He smacked the back of his hand against the paper. "We need the grace of the angel who cast it. That means Metatron, and somehow I don't see him giving that over to us willingly."   
~~~~~

Sam stepped out of the room to call Castiel, who answered on the third ring. "Hey Cas, good news. We've finished translating the spell. We know how to send the angels back to Heaven." Castiel sounded relieved when he answered. 

"The sooner it can be completed the better. Things are not well between the angels." Sam tilted his head curiously. 

"What do you mean? What's happening?"

"There is a war going on. The angel Bartholomew has gathered many to his cause in the attempt to lead them back to Heaven. Once again far too many of my brothers and sisters desire direction over free will. Too many are dying in this struggle. We must resolve the issue quickly." Sam switched the phone to his other ear and walked back into the library, waving Dean over. 

"Are you alright? Have they come after you again? I hope your 'friend' is keeping you safe." Sam could barely keep the sarcasm from his voice at the word 'friend', still not fully trusting whoever this person was. He turned the phone and held it between himself and Dean so they could both listen to his answer. 

"Yes, she and I are safe. There has been an incident; however, for the moment it has been dealt with." Sam shook his head and motioned to the door, Dean leading the way out to the garage. 

"Tell us where you are, we're going to come meet you. We need you back to help figure the rest of this out anyway." Sam folds himself into the Impala before Dean starts her up and pulls out of the garage.

"Sam you are aware of the dangers that exist when being around me. Especially considering all that's happened since I last left you." 

"Cheyenne!" He hears a chipper female voice yell in the background followed by a frustrated sigh.

"That is incorrect. We were investigating a potential case there but have since moved on."

Sam covered the mouthpiece on the phone to whisper their destination to Dean before speaking into it again. "You're still a terrible liar, Cas." Sam returned with a grin. "We'll be in the city in a few hours, we'll call again when we get there." He hung up before Cas could respond.   
~~~~~

Castiel was reluctant to give them them the name of the bar, but when they arrived he eagerly waved them over to the table. "Hello Sam, Dean." He smiled at both of them, truly happy to see them in the midst of all the things that were going on. 

"Never much saw you as the bar type." Dean grinned, squeezing Cas' shoulder as he walked behind him to head up to the bar and order drinks. 

"First round is on me, boys." Dean froze and turned, Sam sharing the same deer-in-the-headlights look as Meg smiled at them, sweet as can be. "Figured I owed you since you came all the way out here to see us." She put the four beers on the table and sat down next to Cas, smirking and draping her arm behind him.

"This is your 'friend'?"

"You're alive?" Sam and Dean glanced at each other then back to Meg, Dean suspicious but Sam cautiously happy. 

"Not that either one of you bothered to look for me, but yes. I am alive and well. Better now that I've been away from Crowley." Sipping at her beer, she smiled at Cas, who looked uncomfortable and kept eying Dean as if expecting him to pull out the demon knife. 

Dean just ignored her, focusing his glare on Cas instead. “You've been relying on her to keep you safe when you've got half of Heaven gunning for your ass?”

“Meg has been keeping me safe for much longer than you think,” Castiel replied, puffing up in his defense of her. “However, that does not mean that extra measures weren't taken.” Standing up, he untucked his shirt to show them the Enochian tattoo inked into his ribs. “This keeps the angels from locating me. Unless they see me in person, they can’t find me.” Sam studied the markings with an impressed hum, then snagged one of the bottles as he sat back on the stool. 

“So you've got that, which means that you're coming back with us, right?” It was Castiel's turn to glare at Dean. He grabbed Dean's elbow and dragged him far enough away from the table to where Sam and Meg couldn't hear their argument. It was awkward for a bit until Sam decided to apologize. 

“I'm sorry that we left you like that, Meg. You didn't deserve it.”

She smiled at him. “So that little heart to heart we had back then made us friends, huh? I figured you guys left me as punishment for crashing your Baby back at SucroCorp.” Sam chuckled. 

“Yeah well, that didn't win you any favors with Dean at least. But still, I am glad that you're okay. And thank you for taking care of Castiel.” Dean dropped into the seat beside him, snatching up his beer with a huff and not looking at the pair sitting across from him. 

“So I guess we're going to have some house guests, Sammy.”   
~~~~~

Dean had drunk too much, Cas was still too much of a lightweight to get very far after only a few beers, and Dean wouldn't let Meg behind the wheel again for as long as he lived, so it was Sam who went out first to pull the Impala around. He didn't get far before something caught his eye and he turned to where Metatron was standing, hands in his pockets and a greasy smirk curling his lips. 

"Hiding out in this human? Tragic. I didn't think that you'd reduce yourself to that, Ezekiel." Sam clenched his fists, the sight of him sending a shock of anger through Sam, but Ezekiel surged forward. 

_Forgive me Sam, he will be less suspicious if I take over._ And before Sam could respond, his eyes glowed blue as Ezekiel took control. "Metatron." he greeted cautiously, turning a bit so his body isn't angled straight toward him. 

"Is that how you treat me? After all we go way back." Ezekiel fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"What is it you want of me, Metatron?"

"Just to be your friend again." He shrugged his shoulders up to his ears, holding them there for a moment. "And to let you in on the ground floor of the next big thing happening in Heaven." Ezekiel narrowed his eyes, turning toward him a bit more to show that he was listening even though he didn't respond. 

"Well, as you may or may not be aware, I was the one who caused the angels to fall." Ezekiel knew. And that made him want to do nothing more than bury his blade between Metatron’s ribs, but that wouldn't get them where the Winchesters needed to be. So he played up his surprise and Metatron was too vain to see it as anything other than truth. "Yes, me. And you know, at first I thought I would love it after all those years of being out of Heaven, out of contact with the angels," Metatron sighed, sagging a bit and looking put out. "But it's a big place, my solitude is getting tedious." 

"What, exactly, does this have to do with me?" 

"Well," he grinned, eyes flashing with mischief as he leaned too close into Ezekiel's space. "I came up with Plan B and I think you would be perfect to help me see it through. We are going to rebuild heaven as the place God envisioned. Only with a handpicked few. No more bland functionaries, no more stupid angels. Maybe some funny ones." Metatron looked off to the side a bit, probably going over his criteria for angels that he would deem acceptable to be allowed back in. "I know you, Ezekiel. I know you want to reclaim the heaven that was. We can do this together." 

"You wish to reopen Heaven?" Angry as he was, Ezekiel couldn't help but wish to be back in his home. Some of it must have shown on his face, even though he was trying to remain stoic, because Metatron smiled and leaned back on his heels.

"When you decide you want to say yes to me, meet me tomorrow and we'll discuss the details." Metatron vanished with a wink and Ezekiel was left angry and determined and a little bit wistful. The rest of the group coming out of the bar snapped him out of his reverie and he returned control to Sam with another apology.   
~~~~~

“Are you kidding me Sam?! You want to go with Metatron?”

“No, Dean,” Sam replied through gritted teeth, voice full of forced patience. “I don't want to go with Metatron, but I think it's our best option to get what we need from him. I can figure out his plans while you guys get the spell prepared. ” 

Dean throws up his hands with a huff. “You won't be in a position for us to help you if something goes wrong! What if he figures it out?” He jabs an accusing finger at Castiel. “He took his grace out, which means he can do the same to Ezekiel and then you're dead!”

Sam stood up, pushing away from the table as he did and making his chair slide back across the floor with a screech. “So what?! It's my decision to take that chance and I think it's the best and probably only option we're going to have to solve this!” 

Kevin and Cas stood off to the side awkwardly, glancing at each other out of the corner of their eyes while the brothers glared at each other. Meg, who was still sitting at the table, put up her feet with a loud thunk. They all started and turned to look at her except Sam, whose eyes stuck on Dean a moment longer, gaze growing sadder before turning to see what Meg wanted. “I'd say Sam playing double agent is the best chance you boys have of getting this done.” She laid her arms over her stomach, lacing her fingers together before shrugging a bit. “And either way, whoever gets their job done first can hop in and help finish the rest.” 

Dean rolled his eyes, waving a hand at her dismissively before turning to Cas. “Help me talk him out of this, yeah? You know how dangerous this is.” But Cas remained silent and Kevin looked away before Dean could make eye contact with him.   
~~~~~

Metatron smirked as Ezekiel unfolded himself from the driver seat at noon exactly. As Ezekiel walked toward him with steps that seemed too short for his long legs, Metatron wagged one finger at him. “I knew that you would come. I knew you would see the benefit to my offer. We angels aren't meant to be down here on Earth with them. ” 

"Humans do seem chaotic. Sam Winchester...it is a mess in here. And the brother, I don't know where to start."

"I can free you from them." 

"You intend to be the ruler of this new heaven."

"It is a burden I feel I must accept."

"Does that not make you God?"

"Semantics. I don't know that I'd take on that name." Metatron's lips twitched, clearly trying to suppress his grin at the idea of being called God even though he was attempting to keep that under wraps. "You and I, we can have paradise again." Ezekiel nodded once and Metatron finally allowed his grin to show, exposing his yellow teeth as he brought them both into Heaven.   
~~~~~

Dean wasn't expecting to see Sam for some time, so when the iron front door squeaked its usual protest at being opened Dean wasn't prepared. “Sam, what's going on?” Sam looked grim, lips pressed together in a tight line. 

“Where's Kevin? And Cas too, I have to talk to them.” Dean hollered for both of them to come into the library. “I have my first assignment,” he said once they all gathered. He unfolded a small piece of yellow paper and showed them Kevin's name. “I'm supposed to kill you and take the tablet.”

“Shit,” Dean cursed under his breath and ran his fingers through his hair. Kevin went pale and Cas got that sad look he had perfected since joining humanity. 

“Your tattoo, Cas,” Sam continued in a change of topic that no one expected. “No angel can find you at all right? No matter what?”

Cas frowned a bit as he thought. “Yes, it would block me from any angel. However, we can't say what methods Metatron will use to gain power. Things may change.” 

“That's fine. If all goes well we won't let him get to that point.” Sam turned to Kevin. “How do you feel about getting another tattoo?” Kevin swallowed hard but nodded.

“You're going to give me what he has?”

“It's the only way out of this that I can see. We block you from angel view and then keep you hidden here so no one can see you and possibly report back that you're still alive. It's all I can think of.” Sam's voice had a slightly desperate tinge to it, hoping that his last minute idea would somehow work for them. Kevin gathered up the bottom of his shirt, preparing to lift it over his head when Dean stopped him. 

“That's a great idea and all, but unless the Men of Letters just happened to have tattooing as a hobby I doubt we're going to be able to just whip up a tattoo here.” Sam paused, not having thought that far ahead in his haste to save Kevin, and his shoulders curled in as he tried to think of something else they could do. Cas cleared his throat. 

“We could brand him. Similar to when I branded your ribs,” he motioned to the brothers. “When we needed to keep you both hidden from Michael and Zachariah. Ezekiel could use his grace to do the same to Kevin.” Cas then leaned in to whisper to Kevin. “It would only hurt for a moment, much less than the tattoo.” He nodded seriously, attempting to calm Kevin to the thought of branding. 

It didn't take much more convincing considering his other option so Kevin lifted his shirt again, closing his eyes in an exaggerated wince while he waited for the pain. Ezekiel shone through for a brief moment, long enough to press his palm to Kevin's chest and imprint the necessary sigils onto his ribs. 

“You're sure that you're completely finished with the tablet. There's nothing else for you to translate?” Kevin rubbed at his chest. 

“There's more on there, but nothing else about the spell as far as I can tell.”

“Sam, we don't know what kind of strength this will give Metatron.” Castiel cautioned again but Sam had no choice. Not if he wanted to keep up this ruse. Sam clapped Cas on the shoulder, smiled at Kevin when he accepted the tablet then stood in front of Dean awkwardly. Dean's arms raised in an abortive movement, falling back to his sides awkwardly when Sam pulled him into a hug. It was the most contact they had with each other since this whole disaster started and they both sank into each other. Dean allowed himself to cradle the back of Sam's head in his palm before pulling away and smiling, struggling hard against the desire to kiss him. Not letting himself recognize the fear that something was going to go terribly wrong and he wouldn't be able to do that ever again. Sam rushed out with a final wave and Dean retreated to the war room. 

*****************

Sam had been gone for a week. There was a demon living in the bunker with them. Kevin was using his fake death as an excuse to spend more hours asleep than he did awake. Castiel refused to allow Dean to make any attempts to contact Sam. Dean couldn't remember the last time that he felt this miserable, and he still hadn't figured out what to do with himself in the meantime. Which is why he found himself curled over the bar at the local dive, already buzzed and not planning on leaving until he could barely walk. He finished the last of his beer when he saw something shift out of the corner of his eye and anger twisted his belly. Dean placed his bottle down with a lot less force than he would have liked and turned to Meg with a thin, violent smile. She flagged the bartender down and ordered them both another drink. 

“So, your boyfriend let you out alone? Does that mean you're all grown up now?” 

Meg took her bottle and clinked it against the neck of Dean's. “He felt better about it when I told him you'd be looking after me.” His lip curled up and he turned away from her. 

“Look, it's bad enough that I've got to deal with you being in the Bunker. So fuck off and give me some peace.” 

“See the problem with that is every time I try and talk to you, you conveniently run off someplace where I can't follow. So we can't have the conversation that would get you out of this little pity party you've been having all week.” Dean didn't answer, just rolled his shoulders to try and get rid of the tension her presence put into them. “Now while Sam is up in Heaven trying to get the doors opened back up, I figured we could use our time to deal with Hell. More specifically, Abaddon.” 

Dean snorted and rolled the bottom of his bottle around in the ring of condensation it left on the bar. “Yeah because she's definitely the dying type.”

Meg rolled her eyes. “Did the sight of that library you boys inherited make you dumb? Just because it isn't in a book doesn't mean that it can't be done.”

“Whatever, Meg, just--”

“It's called the First Blade and it's the only weapon that can kill a Knight of Hell.” Dean's mouth shut with a clack. “Now it hasn't been seen since the Knights were all wiped out centuries ago but, as you know, Azazel was a bit of a collector so he spent a lot of time trying to find it.” Meg shrugged and took a swig of her beer. “He wasn't able to find all the information that I was. But clearly you're not interested, so I'll leave you to your misery.” Dean let her get all the way to the door before calling her back; her name a sharp syllable that cut through the noise of the bar easily. 

“How do you even know all this?” Dean bit out when she returned to the bar. 

“Demons are just as gossipy as a suburban mom. And if you don't keep an ear out for everything, then you won't last long in Hell.” She tapped her nails on the bar, leaning in but not sitting down while waiting for Dean to make his decision. When he sighed out through his nose she knew that he was finally listening. 

“You got one chance to find this blade. That's it. I've got enough shit to deal with without running off on some wild chase, you got me?” Meg raised an eyebrow, but let him think that he was in charge of the situation as she sat back down beside him. Dean's beer was left forgotten and most of his buzz had worn off by the time they finished working out the plan to track down the blade. 

“This won't make us even.” Dean stated plainly, as he stood inside the open door of the Impala. Meg rolled her eyes, unfazed.

“There's no such thing as being even with you, Deano.” Dean grunted in response and got in, leaving her to find her own way back to the bunker.   
~~~~~

Surprisingly enough, they were able to scrounge up the majority of the ingredients for the locator spell that Meg offered to Dean from the Bunker's storage. Finding a complete map of the United States that hadn't been damaged or otherwise used in some way was the most difficult part. Dean mixed everything together, poured it over the map and lit it on fire. The two of them watched as it all burned away until only the state of Missouri was left, a small ember burning over their destination city, and they were on the road before the paper had even cooled. 

A well-worn farmhouse was the last place Dean expected to be led to, but there was a vague ominous cloud that seemed to hang over the entire place. Dean's feeling of unease grew with every step they took toward the place and he didn't realize the source until he noticed that the only sound he could hear was a faint buzzing that grew louder as they reached the back of the house. There were over a dozen hive boxes scattered out over the lawn. Walking toward them was someone in a beekeeper suit, battered hive smoker in hand, and if this were any other situation Dean would have cracked a joke at how ridiculous this man looked. But that urge fell away quickly as Meg paled and stepped back, Dean's name coming out as an agitated whisper. 

“We need to get out of here,” she hissed. “The spell didn't bring us to the blade, it brought us to Cain!” She froze as he came to a stop before the two of them and removed his hood. Cain sized Meg and Dean up and both felt as though interrupting his inspection would not end well for them. 

“Judging by that reaction you aren't here for the honey.” His voice was gruff, sounding as though it hadn't been used in some time. “And while normally I have no need for company I can't help but be curious about what Dean Winchester and a rogue demon could possibly want from me.” 

“You know who I am?” 

Cain rolled his eyes. “I'm retired not dead. Now tell me why you're looking for me.” 

“Well see making your acquaintance was just a happy coincidence. We're here looking for the weapon used to kill the Knights of Hell. You got anything like that lying around here?” 

“What business do you have with the Knights?”

“It matters to you? Thought you were out of the game.” Cain's lipped thinned slightly, the only sign of his annoyance with Dean. 

“I can't help you.” He nodded toward the back of the Impala that they could see around the corner of the house. “It's time for you to go.” He stepped around Dean towards the house when Dean grabbed him by the arm and yanked him back. 

“I'm not leaving without that blade.” Dean squeezed harder on his arm, enunciating his words clearly as he stared Cain down. 

“You're brave, Dean, I'll give you that. But it won't help you since the blade isn't here. And it's useless without the Mark,” Cain slid his arm out of Dean's grasp and rolled up his sleeve, showing off a raised scar sitting just beneath the bend in his elbow. “And I'm not for hire. The perks of retirement. Now if you don't mind I have some errands to run in town and it's well past time for you both to leave and never return.” 

Cain walked calmly back toward the house and Meg moved forward to stand beside Dean. “You said I had one chance at finding this blade. I'm not wasting it standing around here.” They began to follow Cain when half a dozen demons appeared behind them. 

“You're a hard one to keep up with,” one of them sneered at Meg then turned to Dean with a grin. “But you actually managed to bring us right to a Winchester so at least you made it worth it.” 

Dean waved a hand at the dismissively. “We're busy, kids, go play somewhere else.” He turned back to the house but Cain had disappeared inside, door shut behind him. “Let's get this over with,” he groaned, taking the demon knife out as he faced them. Stalking towards the group, one stepped forward to meet Dean, swinging a punch toward his face but Dean easily deflects it and stabs the demon in the side. Letting his body fall he turned to face the next one who knocked Dean back with a kick. He heard Meg grunt as she fought off her own attackers. 

He and the demon traded blows, Dean unable to get a strike in with the knife, until he dazed the demon by sending him headfirst into the shed wall. Turning to try and track the others he saw Meg kneeling down over one, her angel blade sunk deep into his chest, while the fourth approached her from behind. Dean began chanting the exorcism spell, causing both to twist in pain and giving him the distraction he needed to slit the demon's throat. 

“Fucking Winchester!” Meg glared, chest heaving as she recovered from the pain of the spell. Dean smirked and the pair dispatched the other two with ease. Dean rose from his crouch over the last body as he flicked his wrist to get some of the blood off the demon knife. Dean looked back to the house and saw Cain leaning casually against the open door frame, looking back at them with open interest. 

“You enjoy the show, asshole?” Dean spat out, moving toward the house to shove his way in past Cain who only smirked in response. “Now I need that Mark. I need that blade. And so far as I can tell this is the only way to kill Abaddon so there is no way I'm leaving empty handed.” 

“You are brave,” Cain said again, mostly to himself as he moved past them to his fireplace mantle. “I felt a connection with you from the very beginning. You and I are alike.”

“Right except I'm here to save my brother, not kill him.”

“Perhaps. But if you take this mark and let it's power control you then how can you be sure you won't end up like I did?”

“Because it won't happen.” Dean held out his hand. “Now give me the blade.” 

“I told you I don't have it. But I will give you the mark and if you keep your resolve, then maybe things won't fall apart for you immediately.” Dean didn't answer, just kept holding his hand out toward Cain. 

“If you take this Mark, you swear to me that you'll kill her.” He turned to look at Dean again. “That you won't stop until she's gone for good.” Dean nodded once. 

Cain's hand curled around Dean's arm, under his elbow, and it took a long moment for him to drag his eyes away from the unmarked skin. “You do this, and you will not come out human on the other side.”

“I don't have time to worry about that now. Just do it.” Cain tightened his grip and Dean could feel heat spreading out from Cain's fingertips and red lines raised on Cain's arm and seeped onto Dean's. Dean clenched his jaw, eyes shutting as his head tipped back. His throat tightened in panic as he felt Hell seeping back into his veins. Though it went no further than his elbow he could feel the heat wrap around him and he had to force himself to open his eyes, try to anchor himself to Cain's home and to Meg peering anxiously at him over Cain's shoulder to remind himself that he wasn't back on the rack. His vision wavered and he wasn't sure what he was looking at for a moment but then the pain snapped back and was gone. The only reminder that anything happened was the faint tingling on his arm that he didn't dare look down to investigate.

Cain let go and curled his own arm against his chest, thumb rubbing over the mark that was still on his skin. “I've done all I can. Now leave. And if you fail to kill her, you'll see me again, Dean Winchester.”   
~~~~~

Ezekiel had never been in control of Sam's body for this long. He felt strange and uncoordinated; like he was wearing clothes that were too big for him and was trying to keep from tripping over himself as he moved. Then as their mission continued and he spoke with more angels it occurred to him that he had never taken a vessel for this long. His previous times on Earth had been brief. However this time there was no end in sight. Part of him wanted to retreat back, rest and let Sam take control but Sam wouldn't allow them to take the risk. It was difficult enough to keep up the ruse of killing angels without the worry that Metatron would catch them while Sam was in control and take away the only chance they would have to restore Heaven. 

It was easier to forget his discomfort while in front of Metatron because he had to focus on listening, on keeping his front up. But now, walking up the stone pathway to Abner's vessel's side door, he felt awkward and clumsy. The man was kneeling, cleaning up a small garden where several toys had been spread out. Ezekiel made no sound to announce himself. Sam urged him forward and he took a step just as Abner rose. He caught sight of Sam out the corner of his eye and turned to them, expression inviting but curious until he recognized Ezekiel and stopped, eyes widening in shock.

“Ezekiel?”

“Abner,” he replied, finally allowing himself to smile as he joined him. “I see you've been well since the fall?” Abner smiled a bit sheepishly.

“My condition has much improved since then. Please, come inside.” Sam had to once again urge him forward to follow him into the house. More toys were scattered about the floor and Abner hastened to pick them up. “Her father, my vessel, didn't show much in the way of kindness. I guess I'm trying to make up for lost time with these.” Ezekiel smiled. He wished that he could indulge his friend and allow him to share stories of his daughter, but he knew their time together would be limited. 

“I wish the reason for my visit was happier, but unfortunately I must discuss something important with you.” Abner nodded, a flash of panic shining in his eyes before he blinked it away and sat on the sofa, motioning for Ezekiel to sit across from him. “As you know the fall has left Heaven empty, but it will not remain that way for long. Metatron is attempting to step forward as the new God.” Abner blinked in surprised. “Myself and several others are working to ensure that this does not happen; however, it is not an easy task. He has sent me out to kill those he deems a potential threat to his new rule. It is why I am here.” Abner clutched the arm of the sofa, and pushed himself up to his feet. Ezekiel remained seated, holding his hands out to try and placate him. “Please allow me to finish explaining. I do not want to cause you any harm.” Abner didn't run, but he did move back to put the furniture between the two of them. 

“I am working with several others to restore order to Heaven without Metatron at the helm. I believe that you would be a great asset to us and wish to help keep you hidden until the time comes for you to return to Heaven. 

“And if I'm not interested in going back to Heaven? I have my family here, I don't want to leave them.” Ezekiel had no response but it was enough of an answer for Abner. “You're not giving me a choice, are you?” 

“Metatron wants you dead. If he senses that you are still alive, it would risk everything. I can keep you safe until he is gone, but you cannot remain with your family. The risk of you being discovered is too great.” Abner relented soon after, allowing Ezekiel to brand his ribs and he called to leave a message for his wife before following Ezekiel to the safe house with the other angels.   
~~~~~

Dean had never been the patient type. Less so when he wasn't in control of a situation, so now having no way of getting in contact with Sam was driving him insane. He was sure that somehow they would have been able to find out if things went wrong (no doubt Metatron would have arrived to gloat at having ruined their plans) but he needed updates. Needed to know where all the pieces were arranged and how they were falling into place to help keep his own end in control.

He needed to know where Sam was.

It had been difficult enough adjusting to the loss of their physical relationship but at least before he could see him. Could reassure himself that Sam was still there and be comforted by it even though he could no longer kiss him, fuck him or curl up around him at night. Couldn't even touch him casually without Sam retreating from it. But with no way of checking in on him all of that just felt worse.

Now here he was having made yet another impulsive decision - one made while trusting a demon no less - and he couldn't even rely on Sam knocking him down down a peg to make things feel more normal. So when he finally did receive a message from Sam he was surprised at how anxious it made him. He received it on a beer run of all times and Dean wasn't sure if he should be offended or not.

Dean had just pulled a case of beer down but when he turned to walk to the register he nearly ran into someone. The woman glanced at him curiously, studying him, until her face pinched when she glanced down at his arm. Leaning in slightly, she spoke in a whisper. "You are to meet your brother in Riverfront Park. He will be there tomorrow at noon." Dean wanted to ask how long she had been waiting for him to show up but the angel disappeared leaving Dean to wander up to the register muttering about angels under his breath. 

Strolling into the park Dean sat on a table near the treeline to wait for Sam. He watched dozens of families eating and playing and he wondered if Sam was trying to hide their meeting in this group. The sleeves on his shirt were rolled down but he could still feel the raised scar on his skin and he had to struggle to keep himself from rubbing at it. He rubbed his hands against his thighs instead and nearly jumped when he heard Sam shout his name. 

“Dean! Hey!” Sam looked exhausted when he jogged over to him, but he still smiled at the sight of his brother. He was barely able to finish returning the greeting when Sam's eyes flashed blue and Ezekiel took a half dozen steps away from Dean. 

“What have you done?” Ezekiel looked shocked, disbelief written all over his face but Dean couldn't tell if it was directed at him or at the recurrence of the Mark. He knew he wouldn't have been able to hide it from Ezekiel but the strong reaction still threw him off. Giving in, Dean allowed himself to cup his palm over the scar. 

“Leave it, and let me talk to my brother.” Sam did come forward but it was clear that Ezekiel was speaking to him still. 

“What happened, Dean? What did you do?” 

“Nothing, Sammy, alright? Everything is fine. It's under control. Now tell me how you are. What's happening with Metatron?” Sam was silent, and Dean was thankful that the limited time of their meeting was on his side. 

“Things are fine.” Sam replied hesitantly. “He isn't suspecting anything yet as far as we can tell. He sent Ezekiel here to kill another angel but from the way he's been talking, there aren't going to be many more names. We'll have to do something soon.” Sam ran his fingers through his hair with a frustrated huff. “But he's hidden the tablet, I don't know if I'll be able to get it back.”

“That's alright, we don't need it anymore, right? Just focus on getting that son of a bitch's guard down so we can get his grace and get Heaven opened back up.” Sam nodded then gave his brother an obvious once over; raising an eyebrow when Dean refused to bring up what was happening with him.

“What did you do?” 

“I said don't worry about me, alright? We'll deal with my shit when you get back. Go.” Sam reached for Dean but the jerky way that he pulled his arm back told Dean that Ezekiel wasn't letting Sam get any closer to him. He wished that it didn't hurt him as much as it did. 

“Be safe, Dean,” was Sam's goodbye as Ezekiel took over and walked to the other side of the park. 

*****************

 

The mark was a constant throbbing point of awareness on Dean's skin but he still didn't feel any different. Dean attributed the ache to the newness of the injury, the restlessness at being apart from Sam. It didn't help that every time he thought about it, he was reminded of Ezekiel's reaction to it, and of Sam's face when Ezekiel was explaining what it was. Not that Dean knew what he had said because the two of them could speak without anybody hearing. That damn angel was in Sam's brain, knew everything about him. Knew more about Sam than he did even though Dean had known him his whole life and loved him for just as long. It wasn't fair. 

The mark twinged and his hand curled into a fist reflexively. He hadn't really let himself think about it until now. But as his thoughts grew darker, it seemed to burn hotter on his skin. He hesitantly traced over the lines of the brand that he had, up until this point, refused to touch and his eyes drifted closed. Dean could feel Hell burning within him. He felt like he was back in her depths, housed deep under her rib cage and feeding her the souls that he tortured. Feeding her and knowing that he could never give enough to sate her. 

Yet he felt like something was missing. He felt like he did when he had no blade or gun or lock pick hidden on him. He felt vulnerable and it made his skin itch but even in his nakedness he felt that he was strong enough to fight against anything. To claw and kick and bite; tear them apart piece by piece and come out bloody but standing. He wondered, for a moment, if this mark and blade would work against Lucifer. Dean was reckless enough in that moment to want to find out. 

He was pacing the length of the war room again, waiting anxiously for Meg to return. She was chasing down another lead for the blade as his last one had ended up being a dead end. He needed his weapon because none of his others even felt right in his hands anymore but if he had to wait much longer he was going to burst out of his skin and go after Abaddon half-cocked. 

Dean's cell phone ring and the shrill tone made him want to hurl it against the wall. He answered with a harsh “what?” and was greeted by Meg's laughter. “You better sweeten up your tone if you want me to give you my good news.” 

“Unless it's about the blade I don't want to hear it.” 

Meg scoffed. “Like I'd want to deal with you for any other reason. Listen, I tracked down some guy, named Magnus of all things, who might have the blade. Trouble is, he is actually aware of all things that go bump in the night so demon me can't get into his hideaway. You gotta get your ass down here and break in yourself.” 

Dean didn't bother to use any of the finesse that he had gained over the years. He was loud, uncaring, and didn't attempt to keep himself hidden at all when he broke into Magnus' mansion. He didn't pay attention to any of the other antiques or artifacts that filled the rooms he moved though. His sole focus was finding his blade. He entered a large study and saw a man flanked by two others standing in front of the fireplace. The man in the middle held something that Dean would have mistaken for simply an old bone if it wasn't for the leather bound handle on one end and the way he immediately knew it was for him even though he had never seen it before. 

“So I heard that someone was asking a lot of questions about this blade here,” the man who Dean assumed was Magnus waved it in front of him carelessly. “I figured I should keep a close eye on it in case someone tried to come and get it from me, and here you are.” His smile was wide and fake and he looked every bit the sleazy car salesmen stereotype. “Now I can't let you have it,” he ran his first two fingers along the bottom edge of the bone. “But, people who come looking for something like this usually know something about the things that I'm looking to collect.” Magnus raised his eyebrows, still smiling when he pointed the blade at him. “So I'm thinking that maybe I could offer you a job instead.”

Magnus' words were a buzzing at the back of Dean's ear. He didn't really hear a thing that he said, all he saw was the untalented hands between him and his blade. He stalked forward and the two other men raised their guns, Magnus slipping behind them as Dean got closer. Unfortunately for them, Dean smacked the man's arm sideways, forcing him to miss his shot, and Dean had him down on the ground with a broken jaw before the other man could react. Dean threw the second man back into Magnus who stumbled and then ran out of the room. Dean wrestled the gun out of his hands, dispatching them both with a single shot, then ran after Magnus. 

Dean rammed him into the wall just after he turned the corner to get to the staircase. He pulled the blade out of his hand and grabbed his suit jacket to turn him over, pinning Magnus back with an arm across his collarbone. Magnus' hands were up and trembling. “I-I'm sorry! Take it, take it, it's all yours!” Dean looked over the blade, studied it closely and decided that it was a bit too dull for his usual taste. He slit it across Magnus' throat anyway.   
~~~~~

Sam and Ezekiel both were getting restless. They wanted to make their move against Metatron because the longer they continued to operate behind his back, the greater the chance of him finding out and ruining their only chance at fixing this. What was holding them back was their inability to find the tablet. They could find no trace of where he might have hidden it, but it was clear that he was using its power to manipulate Heaven. In the end, the other angels were the ones to convince Sam and Ezekiel to ignore the tablet for now and attack. 

Metatron had been holed away in his study for hours and Ezekiel could feel strange fluctuations in Metatron’s grace which put an uneasy pit in his stomach. Ezekiel didn't knock and when he entered Metatron was facing away from him, arms clasped behind his back as he looked out the window over Heaven. 

“Look at them out there. Do you think the humans have any clue that God has abandoned them? Of course not. They barely worshiped him on Earth and now that they're in Heaven and living in paradise they couldn't care less.” Metatron turned and wagged his finger. “But they'll learn soon enough. They'll learn that there's a price tag and they need to cough up the dough.” He rocked back on his heels and giggled. “Things are changing, things are changing. It's finally getting exciting up here!” He moved behind his oversized desk and shuffled things around as if he was simply looking for something to do with his jittery hands. 

“And I see you are finally back from your mission! It took you long enough, I hope you're not slacking already.” Metatron tilted his head forward as he talked, offering a private smile to Ezekiel as if they were sharing in inside joke. “Nevertheless I have your next mission here!” He produced a paper from his pocket with flourish, held it between them awkwardly for a few moments before raising an eyebrow. “Come now, it's not the time to delay. We're almost ready to continue and we've no time to waste!”

“Your mission is not what is best for Heaven.” Ezekiel said, finally breaking his silence. “I have decided to give you the option of coming along quietly.” Metatron's eyes lit up, mouth rounding into a delighted 'o'. 

“Rebelling already? Oh, how exciting.” He moved around the desk, not intimidated at all by the size advantage Ezekiel had over him. “How long have you been planning this, hmm?” Ezekiel didn't answer. He just stared down at him while the angels filed in behind him. Rather than showing any hesitation at being outnumbered, his eyes gleamed manically. The jitters in Metatron's hands increased and Ezekiel felt that same strange fluctuation in Metatron's grace. “What's your plan? You can't open Heaven without me! Kill me and you condemn your brothers and sisters to an eternity on Earth. You might as well drop them in Hell at that point.” 

Ezekiel could feel the angels behind him getting restless and since he truly had no idea what Metatron was capable of now, he didn't want things to escalate out of his control. “Hand over the tablet and we will allow you to leave alive.” 

“Oh well, unfortunately the tablet is hmm” Metatron giggled. “It's currently in use so I can't exactly let you have it.” Ezekiel narrowed his eyes and heard the crack of bone from behind him. 

“Just start the spell, we'll find the tablet later,” Theo practically growled out through clenched teeth, the two pieces of a Saint's bone in his hands. He stood with the other angels who held the components of the reversal spell while others moved forward with intent to restrain Metatron. With a snap of his fingers, the angels exploded and he continued to fight off the others; leaving the small group working the spell alone as if daring them to continue. Hannah managed to slice Metatron's arm with her blade so Ezekiel began to draw Metatron's grace out through the wound. 

He felt Sam's exclamation of joy but could not share in it because the sight of his grace drew him up short. Rather than coming out a vibrant blue, the grace was tinged with threads of inky purple. Ezekiel stared down at the small vial the grace was filling until Metatron's wound healed and cut off the flow. The others all took a hesitant step back, losing some of their resolve. 

“What?” Metatron asked with a slick grin. “You thought I'd stay as one of you even after taking on the position of God? Promotions always come with a pay raise.” Swinging his arm he flung the others back, some breaking through the wall beside the door, then yanked Ezekiel down to his level. “If you still want the tablet, feel free to take it if you can.” Ezekiel twisted out of his grasp, and swung at him with his own blade. He could hear the others behind him furiously trying to gather up the spilled phoenix ashes and other components to the spell. Metatron's tainted grace clung to the bone shard they used; they were all still desperate enough to try this casting even though the spell would be altered and they could only hope it would do what they needed. 

In the end Ezekiel didn't know if it was the changes to Metatron's grace or the fact that there wasn't enough of it to properly cast, but the spell that was meant to drain Metatron turned on him. It exploded out of the bowl, the strength of it burning the angels crouched around it and engulfed Metatron. The other angels stood back in shock as Metatron shrieked, Ezekiel and Sam both grateful that they couldn't see through the smoke around him. As it died out, his charred bones clattered to the floor. 

Everything was still for several moments. Some angels were helping those who had been injured in the blast, and the ones who had seen Metatron consumed were staring down at all that was left of him. The majority of his grace was gone, used up by the spell, but there was enough left that they could still feel the wrongness of it hanging in the air. Because of that they worried the spell had failed. 

The angels hesitantly called for their brothers and sisters to come home and when they were answered, their song became more eager; broadcasting from Heaven at full volume in their joy. Ezekiel gathered up the pieces of the tablet as the halls of Heaven were filled again and the sense of relief was palpable. There was still much to be done. They had to deal with the angels who had been warring down on Earth, and what would happen to the hierarchy now that they were all restored. But Ezekiel could not be concerned with that now. He sealed the pieces of the tablet back together, blowing them free of ash as Abner walked up to stand by his side. Ezekiel nodded to him.

“Come, I will return you to your family.”   
~~~~~

“You made all the lights on the mega computer freak out again,” Kevin accused Sam the moment he walked in the door. “You guys need to give me a heads up next time or else I'm just unplugging them and going back to bed.” 

“Alright, alright, sorry for the trouble, kid.” Sam laughed, waving the tablet at him as he came down the stairs. Kevin put his hands up, closed his eyes and backed away. 

“Nope. I signed off on that when your angel friend decided to pretend kill me. I'm never looking at that damn thing again.” Kevin wandered away, passing Cas who was on the way in and wearing a bright smile. He pulled Sam down into a hug that wasn't awkward until Cas didn't step back once it ended. 

“Sam, Ezekiel. Thank you for opening Heaven again.”

“Trust me, Cas, it was my pleasure. The last thing we need are angels perpetually running around Earth. No offense,” Sam tacked on quickly. He clapped Cas on the shoulder, using it to turn him around and lead him deeper into the bunker. “Come on, let's go find an empty box in storage to tuck this thing away.” After some arranging they managed to find space for it it and returned to the living area where Kevin declared that they were taking the night off and insisted they go out to eat to celebrate that he was technically alive again. He backseat drove them all to a local Thai place in the city because he was tired of eating burgers and cereal 'every fucking day'. Sam felt so relieved to have gotten the huge weight of this task off his shoulders that he didn't even let Dean's somber attitude take away from his fun. 

Once they'd returned to the bunker, Sam had to admit that it felt sort of strange to be back in control of his body. He didn't feel any resentment this time since he had agreed to it in order to keep their cover up, but he still kept expecting to suddenly lose it. And with the way that Ezekiel had retreated into Sam after their impromptu celebration, Sam figured that Ezekiel knew that and was trying to reassure him. Ezekiel hadn't needed to sleep either so it felt all the better when Sam dropped into his bed that night, not quite buzzed but still feeling happy and loose anyway.   
~~~~~

The next morning Sam was up first, ready and needing to be planning how they were going to finish the trials and close Hell. He wanted to ride the success of reopening Heaven. He needed to keep going because he didn't feel like he could afford to wait. The others were willing to listen, Dean was not. 

“You're seriously still going through with this? This isn't an option, Sam. You aren't going to die for this.” 

Sam let out a long suffering sigh and spoke in an even monotone. “It's my choice to finish these trials. It's going to happen with your help or without. So where do you want to be on this?” Dean opened his mouth, saw that he would be getting no backup from anyone around him and snapped his mouth shut with a hard click of his teeth. “Now. We already know how this is all going to work, so we just have to figure out how to solve some of the other-” Sam gestures, thinks, then fails to come up with a proper word. “-details. And even with the closing of Hell, we don't know what will happen to demons topside. But we'll just have to figure that out when the time comes.” Sam shuffled the papers he had in front of him that described the spell that he was going to attempt to perform again. 

“I know you both kidnapped Crowley for this last time,” Cas spoke up after clearing his throat quietly. “But perhaps there would be a better candidate for this attempt?” He not so subtly looked over at Meg, who returned his gaze with poorly faked nonchalance. 

“Meg?” Sam asked, looking surprised only for a moment before the memories of how close she had become with Castiel over the years caught up with him. “You want to be cured?” She shrugged.

“Clarence is a human now. Hell isn't going to be around much longer anyway so why not get all poetic and go back to where I started.” She grinned and Sam couldn't help but smile back. 

“I can only imagine how big a pain in the ass you're going to be even as a lowly human.” Sam teased. Kevin fidgeted in his seat beside Sam, getting anxious enough to cut into the conversation before they got too far with teasing each other. 

“What about you, Sam? How are we going to fix you ending up, you know, dead.” 

“Not easily, that's for sure but, I haven't stayed dead yet, so something will happen.” 

“So you're not planning on just checking out this time? You're really going to want to stick around?” Dean spit out, the echo of Sam's 'So?' ringing in his ears. Sam glared at him, nostrils flaring as he kept his anger in check. Rather than answering he turned back to Kevin. 

“You've got any ideas?” 

“Well...” Kevin leaned over the table, reaching to pull a book toward him and opening it to a bookmarked page. “I found this spell. It's meant to keep something trapped in the state it's in. So I was thinking maybe if we put it on you after, then it would keep your body from getting nasty while we figured everything else out.” Sam pulled the book over to him, forehead wrinkling as he looked over the pages. 

“I guess I don't see why it wouldn't work.” Sam nudged Kevin with a smile. “Got any bright ideas for sticking my soul back in?” 

Ezekiel pressed forward. _Completion of the trials will likely result in your soul being taken to Hell. We should assume that to be the case so that we may prepare to contain your soul immediately._ The others watched Sam as he fell silent, knowing that he was speaking with the angel and Meg rolled her wrist at him to encourage him to share. 

“They really didn't want anyone completing these trials, did they?” Was what Sam started with, and the others were confused until he continued. “Chances are I'll end up in Hell when it's done. The last time I went down there, getting me back out didn't quite work that well.” Castiel winced. “Besides if it's closed off only souls can get through right? So an angel wouldn't be able to enter.” 

_I can track your soul should it go elsewhere. There is only once place you would go in Heaven and should your soul remain on Earth I can find you and bring you back. However, if we are incapable of keeping it out of Hell there will be nothing I can do._

For lack of any other ideas, they started pulling books off the shelf to search for anything that might be able to catch and hold a soul. Dean stormed out of the bunker, furious that he was the only one who was against this and unsure if he'd be able to keep himself from lashing out at them all. They ignored the door that slammed behind him.   
~~~~~

Dean brushed his hands against each other to rid them of dirt as he straightened from his crouch. For several long minutes nothing happened. Dean shifted his weight and shoved his hands in his pockets, waiting for a demon to show. When he felt a shift in the air behind him, he rolled his eyes as he turned. "Took you long enough. It's not a good company policy to keep your customers waiting." 

The demon was standing a good dozen feet away, eyeing Dean warily while she tried to put up a nonchalant front. "Well, we all know of the Winchester's history with the crossroads. Not many of us see a benefit to dealing with you." 

"Yet here you are," Dean replied with a grin, spreading his hands out to either side. "Did they all decide to send the newbie?"

"Perhaps I'm curious as to why you would try and summon us while your brother is still alive. That's not exactly par for the course..." 

"Sam is part of my deal. And if he were to hear my plan then I doubt he'd exactly let me go through with it." The demon raised an eyebrow and waited for Dean to continue. "I give Abaddon Crowley, and you promise to keep Sam's soul out of Hell." 

"Why exactly would I agree to that? She is more than capable of hunting down Crowley on her own. There's no reason to give you something for that."

Dean shrugged his shoulders, nodding once in agreement. "You're right. Well, only right for as long as Sam's alive. Abaddon will kill Crowley and take over Hell, but have you all managed to forget just who Sam is? He's the Boy King. Lucifer's true vessel. He dies, his soul falls to Hell and he's automatically top dog. He'll be more powerful than her and she's got her little fan club following along behind her," he motioned to the demon who bristled. "But how long do you think that'll last when the Chosen One comes to take what's his?" 

"You seem awfully interested in Hell considering it wasn't that long ago that you tried to take Abaddon out yourself." She spat back. 

"Haven't you heard?" Dean rolled up his right sleeve and turned to show off what was burned into his arm. "I'm switching teams." The demon's eyes widened at the sight of the Mark and she seemed torn between feeling reverent and denying that it was true. "I miss being in Hell. And since we took out Alistair, there's an open position that I just so happen to not need any training for." He grinned, letting the memories of the torture he inflicted wash over him. "Consider Crowley my gift to her so we can both move on to better things."

The demon hesitated. She was afraid of the consequences of working with a Winchester, but the pull of the rewards she would get should this play out correctly were too strong and she nodded, finally stepping forward. "We have a deal."   
~~~~~

The others were all gathered around the table in the library when Dean returned. Sam gave him a once over as if looking for evidence. “Where have you been?” Dean grinned and slapped him on the back. 

“Just tying up some loose ends that's all. How is the rest of the plan coming along?” Sam eyed him warily but just licked his lips and turned away. 

“We somehow got it figured out without your input. All you need to do is deal with Abaddon. Once you've killed her we'll finish the trial and close off Hell.”

“And you'll be dead.” Sam closed his eyes, shaking his head a bit as he fought down the urge to snap back at Dean, given that he didn't even stick around for the conversation the first time. 

“The Mark will hopefully lose its power after that so you should be okay, Dean.” Sam looked at him with concern and hope. Meg told them all she knew about the Mark but there wasn't much to go off of, and Sam had no way of knowing how closing Hell would affect Dean. “We have something that could potentially restrain my soul. Kevin found that spell that should keep me from decaying while Ezekiel looks for my soul. And if all goes well, we'll all get to live happily after ever.” 

Meg, who stood just outside the archway to the library, shouted in helpfully. “I call Clarence's room!”

“Oh, so I see we're still curing Meg. You really think she deserves that?” Grabbing Dean's elbow, Sam dragged him off toward the kitchen to give themselves some privacy. 

“Look, she's been helping us for a while now on top of all the things she's done for Cas. She's on our side, so why wouldn't we do this?”

Dean snorted, raising his eyebrows as he laughed. “You've made your peace with her? So did you just forget what she did when she possessed you? What she did with your body?”

Sam's eyes narrowed and he took a step closer to Dean. “So it's only okay for me to be possessed when you pick who does it? Is that how it works Dean?” Dean forced his feet to stay planted and not move back but before he could come up with a response Sam continued. “I have made my peace with Meg. And she, Cas, or I don't want her trapped in Hell for eternity so I'm going to cure her. The decision has already been made.” Sam turned away, leaving Dean fuming in the kitchen. He cupped his left hand over the Mark, breathing heavily through his nose but he couldn't calm himself enough to keep from lashing out and knocking the hanging pots down. The sound of them falling to the island, then the floor bounced around him as he stormed out. Cas' curious face poked out into the hallway to see what was going on and his lips thinned into a line when he saw Dean. 

“Dean...” 

Dean pushed past him. “Just tell Sam that he doesn't need to worry about his soul going to Hell. I've got that covered.” Castiel's eyes narrowed suspiciously. 

“What did you do this time?”

“Save it, Cas. I've gotta go meet Abaddon. Let's get this shit over with.” 

*****************  
Meg was wary as she wandered down into the basement of the bunker, but Cas was standing strong at her side. He had been telling her all the things about being human that she would be able to enjoy soon. She wasn't quite keen on all of it but she knew that this would be her only chance to get out of Hell permanently so there was no way for her to pass that up. Sam was standing at the table in the corner, the set of syringes already filled with his blood lined up neatly in the middle. Cas' hand twitched but he squeezed hers tight once before guiding her to the chair. 

“You sure you don't want me to strap you in? Just to be safe?” Sam asked while wrapping a tie around her upper arm. It was Cas who answered. 

“No, the Devil's trap will keep her. It won't be necessary to restrain her.”

“We'll save that for after right, Clarence?” She winked but he wasn't playing along. 

“Alright Meg, ready?” She nodded and Sam emptied the first syringe into her vein. There was a cool feeling that spread for a few inches before disappearing and Meg wasn't sure if she imagined it or not. Clenching her hand into a fist, she cracked her neck and smirked up at Sam. 

“Start with the hard one next time, yeah?” Sam snorted out a quick laugh through his nose. 

“We'll do it your way next weekend.” 

It wasn't until the third injection, given to her an hour later, that she really began to feel the effects. Cas wiped the sweat off her face gently with a hand towel and brushed her hair back behind her ear. 

“Are you feeling alright?” He asked quietly and Meg hated how eagerly she clung to his gentleness. 

“I'm fine. Been through worse, you know?” She grinned up at him and Sam let their conversation fade to the background as Ezekiel spoke. 

_Hannah has informed me that Dean is with Crowley._ It was Ezekiel who ultimately asked Hannah to follow Dean. She could keep herself hidden from his sight while relaying what was happening to Ezekiel so that they could know when to complete the cure and mointor Dean. Sam sighed and placed his hands on the table, head bowing forward as he thought. 

_This isn't going to end well is it? Things never do and he's out there by himself and he's got that Mark on his arm and this was all a terrible idea._

_Your brother is not alone, Sam. Hannah is near and I have instructed her to get him out of the area the moment things begin to go poorly._ Sam knew that it wouldn't be fast enough. Something terrible would happen and even though they've opened Heaven and they're trying to close Hell they can never get through their plans without some horrible consequence. Ezekiel sent some warmth down Sam's spine and his lips curled up in a rueful smile. It wasn't that long ago when that would have only made him more angry and bitter. But he had adjusted and grown used to it as he had with so many other things in the span of his life. Not that he would have to put up with it much longer though. Soon he'd finish the trials, only this time his brother wouldn't be here. There'd be no angel to trick his way into his body. Exhaling hard he picked up the next syringe and walked back over to Meg's side.   
~~~~~ 

Dean was pulled off at a rest stop, crouched down next to the Impala and uncaring if there were any passing cars that could see him. He finished mixing the summoning spell ingredients and stepped back when the contents of the bowl burned away. Crowley appeared a dozen feet away, hands in his coat pockets, looking annoyed. Dean smirked when he saw Crowley's threadbare suit, haggard expression, and dark under-eye circles. 

“Is the battle for Hell not working in your favor?” Crowley frowned and straightened his spine, pushing his shoulders back to try and puff himself up some more. “Is the away team going to win the game?”

“If this is all you've summoned me for, then please allow me to take my leave early. My time could be better spent doing literally anything else.”

“Not exactly.” Dean jerked his head toward the Impala. “You and I have an appointment to keep.” Crowley narrowed his eyes. Dean gave him a few seconds to change his mind. “Come on, she's not exactly a lady you want to keep waiting.” 

“You think I'm going to go anywhere with you? I'm aware of what you've been up to in your free time and I have no desire to get involved with that level of crazy.” Dean snarled and paced forward.

“You don't get a say in this. Either I bring you there whole or I bring you there in pieces. Which one is it going to be?” 

“I'll take my chances far away from that bitch, thank you very much.” Crowley raised his fingers to snap and disappear back into Hell but Dean lunged forward and got a grip on Crowley's sleeve. Dean hacked at his hand and Crowley reared back in pain; three of his fingers falling to the ground.

“Are you going to listen or am I going to have to cut the rest of them off now?” Crowley bared his teeth, snarling right back in Dean's face. 

“You think you'll benefit from this?”

Dean shrugged, his hold on the demon not loosening a bit even though he was putting on a much calmer front. “It'll be benefit enough to finally be rid of you.” 

“Threaten all you like. You and I both know you won't actually kill me.” Switching his grip, Dean grabbed him by the scruff, first blade now pressed against his throat. 

“I remember when you were actually a threat. But I can see that Abaddon did most of the work in taking you out for me. Pity we couldn't've had more fun.” Dean sliced with the knife while pushing Crowley's head forward. He gurgled and choked and, much to Dean's disappointment, the blade killed Crowley before he was able to completely remove his head. Dean let his body stay where it had fallen, taking only the head with him back to the Impala.   
~~~~~

Meg lashed out after the next injection, screaming as she shoved Sam back away from her. The trial had weakened her enough to where he only stumbled back a step, but it's still enough to worry him. After quick reassurances to Cas, he fastened her wrists to the chair with the buckles that had been attached to it. 

“It's alright Meg, it's alright. It's almost done.” She snarled at Castiel, eyes stuck black as she shook and tried to free herself from the restraints. Cas looked pained as he watched, murmuring soothing nonsense words to her until she stopped shaking. She looked to be on the verge of tears but was too distracted by the pain to try to blink them back. 

“Castiel,” Meg's voice quivered and Cas was quick to cup her cheek and tilt her head so he could kiss her forehead, his worry for her keeping him from realizing that she used his real name. “It hurts.” Cas took her hand and Sam took the other. 

“There's only one injection left.” Sam smiled as he squeezed her hand. “One more and then you're done and you get to be a plain ol' boring human like the rest of us.” She laughed weakly, closing her eyes and tilting her head back to rest it against the seat. 

“Not too boring I hope. You boys gotta-” she winced and shifted. “gotta give me something to do with my time.” Cas rubbed her arm then wiped away the tears left on her cheeks. Sam stepped back, leaning against the wall as he waited for word through Ezekiel.   
~~~~~

Abaddon clicked her tongue when she saw Dean walk in alone. “I thought you were supposed to bring me in Crowley. Wasn't that your half of the deal?” Dean shrugged, holding his left hand out in front of him in a mockery of apology.

“I got impatient.” Removing his other hand from behind his back, he tossed Crowley's head at her feet. She pushed her toe under his cheek and turned the head up so she could look down at him. 

“How he ever became King, I will never understand.” She kicked the head away from her and when she looked back up Dean had halved the distance between them. “So now what, Dean? We kiss and make up, clean up the rest of the loyalists together and live happily ever after?” She snatched him by the front of his shirt and turned so they were pressed up against the wall. “Did you really expect me to believe that you would just run to my side? A good little hunter like you?” She pressed her fingernails into his collarbone. “You think I'm that stupid?” Dean grabbed her wrist, pinning it back against the wall as he flipped their positions. 

“I figured it was worth a try. You've been out of the game for a while.” She flicked her eyebrows up with a grin, kneeing Dean in the stomach and pushing him away as she rolled her shoulders. 

“Let's see if you put up a better fight than the late, great King.” As she did, Dean left his weapon tucked away and continued the fight hand to hand. Furniture was broken apart, art knocked off the walls and soon enough people were pounding on the door yelling for them to be quiet. Dean was thrilled. He grinned through the blood on his teeth as he and Abaddon both circled around the room; returning to the posturing that their fight started off with. 

Dean pulled out the first blade and Abaddon grit her teeth. Dean charged her but no matter how hard he fought, he couldn't get within arm's reach of her. She continued to push him back and dance away, knowing that one cut from the blade would cause enough damage to let Dean finish her off. Furious at the lack of contact Dean picked up the broken top of an end table and hurled it at her. She smacked it away from her with ease then stumbled back as she was hit in the stomach. Blinking, she looked down at the handle of the first blade sticking out of her.

Roaring, Dean tackled her to the floor, grasping the blade and sinking it deeper into her gut before they hit the floor. Her nails sank into his skin as she grabbed his arms, light flashing from under her rib cage while she tried to scramble back. But Dean's weight pinning her down was too much and as he dragged the blade up higher her blood began to seep through his jeans. Screaming, Abaddon writhed and twisted; the light flashing one last time as Dean twisted his arm and she went limp. 

Dean laughed and stared down at her, adrenaline and joy pumping through his veins as the Mark sang out. He yanked the blade out of her, carelessly flicking off some of her blood. When he stood, his jeans stuck to his legs, the door burst inward; two policemen entered, guns raised. They shouted but all he could hear was the ringing in his ears. Reaching down he picked up a nearby table leg and flung it at the pair of men, throwing off their aim enough that their shot only hit Dean high in the shoulder.

Dean's laugh was a hollow echo, and his eyes shone as he noticed the bystanders huddled behind the officers trying to get a look at what was happening. He was long past trying to resist the Mark. He was exhausted and angry, he let its influence sink too deep into him from the moment he first got it. And now that he'd killed Crowley and Abaddon, resisting wasn't even on his mind. He wanted to kill more. 

He took advantage of the officer's fear, and stalked forward with a wicked grin. A few people fled. The officers raised their weapons once again but a brown haired woman appeared in front of them with her arms spread. They felt a light push that forced them to stumble back a step and in his fear one man shot at her. Though he could see blood seeping into her clothes she didn't flinch, nor did Dean stop his advance forward. 

The woman could see Dean's arm tense, preparing to raise his blade, so she slipped her own out of her sleeve and sliced at him; giving him no choice but to redirect to block her. This let the woman move to his side, grab his wrist tight and teleport them out of the room. Dean blinked, feeling a bit dizzy from the sudden change in scenery and after a quick glance around realized he was on the roof. He breathed out in an angry huff. “Fine, I'll just kill you then.” She tilted her head slightly, looking at him with a calm expression then disappeared, leaving Dean to gape at the empty air she left behind. He shouts, clenching and unclenching, frantically trying to find a way out.   
~~~~~

_Hannah has informed me that Abaddon is dead and your brother out of harms way for the moment. We must finish immediately._

“Alright Meg, ready?” Sam's voice was shaking as he held her arm, pressing in the needle with care regardless of how harried he felt. She sucked in a sharp breath, eyes wincing shut as she clung to the armrests. The room was silent around them until Meg broke it with a piercing scream. It felt as if her veins were being filled with ice. Her lungs filled with the cold even as she broke out in a hot sweat. Her heart gave a single shuddering, painful beat and she twisted in the chair to try and get away from it. Cas held her shoulders down to try and keep her from hurting herself as her heart tried to start again. Meg's breath caught in her throat and she coughed, chest aching and limbs tingling as Sam's blood continued to push humanity back into her. 

Her heart picked up an irregular rhythm and her eyes flew open. Castiel's grip on her loosened from the shock of seeing them their old stark black and his heart sank for a moment, thinking that the cure hadn't worked. Sam leaned back on his heels, letting the wall support him as he slid down to sit on the floor, his heart growing sluggish as Meg's grew stronger. Castiel watched in awe as the black bled from her eyes but his joy was short lived as he realized what that meant. Reluctantly leaving her side, he dropped to his knees in front of Sam, cupping his cheek to tilt his face up. 

“Sam?” Sam smiled a bit. 

“Take care of them?” Sam's voice titled up a bit at the end, making it a question that Castiel couldn't believe he felt the need to ask. Meg coughed and gagged. Cas felt Sam exhale and then a blue glow emanated from his skin as Ezekiel was forced out of Sam's body. He circled the room once, then shot out of the bunker in search of his original host. Castiel gently let go of Sam, knowing that at the moment Meg needed him more.   
~~~~~ 

Dean pounded at the door of the roof, screaming to be let out. There were long gashes in the metal and scrapes around the hinges where Dean had tried to take the door down. He had paced around the ledge of the building, searching for another way down but when none had presented themselves his frustration and anger only built. His head was pounding as the Mark had no proper outlet so it began to turn on Dean. He slammed both palms against the door, mouth opening to scream, when he felt the air forced out of his lungs. 

He stepped back, gasping as the Mark sent one last furious shock into his system then all the adrenaline, anger, and bloodlust disappeared instantly. Dean's body shook from being cut off from the power of Hell so suddenly and he looked down at his hands, feeling detached from the memories of what he had done over the last few hours. The dark haired woman appeared again, cautiously unsure of what Dean's reaction to her presence would be, but her voice was kind when she spoke. 

“Dean? Ezekiel has instructed me to take you to your brother.” Dean shook his head in tiny jerks. He knew what happened, knew what it meant to no longer feel the connection to the Mark, but he wanted a few more seconds of ignorance before being confronted with the reality of his brother being gone. 

“Who are you?” 

“My name is Hannah. I am an angel serving with Ezekiel.” Dean's eyes focused on the fine trembling in his fingers. His vision blurred momentarily while his eyes refocused on the blade that lay near his feet. Taking a long breath through his nose, he clenched his hands into fists and forced his body to be still. Once his head began to swim he let out his breath in a heavy sigh to steel himself for what was to come. Dean nodded once and Hannah brought him to the bunker. 

Castiel had laid Sam out on the floor, hating the unnatural slump of his body as it leaned against the wall. He wanted to say something as Dean came into the room, but it felt wrong to reassure Dean of Sam's eventual health when he was currently gathering his brother's dead body into his arms. 

Dean carried Sam back into their bedroom, brushing his hair back from his face after he laid him back gently. Dean had taken off Sam's shirt and was pulling the blanket up over him when he heard Kevin shuffling nervously out in the hallway. Dean's voice was soft when he called him in, speaking quietly almost as if he was afraid to let his voice get too loud and wake Sam from sleep. Carefully, they painted on the symbol that Kevin had found and hoped it would be enough to last until they could find his soul.   
~~~~~

Sam was not easy to find, and, if Dean could find any humor in their current situation, he would tell them to not be so surprised. That Sam doesn't get found unless he wants you to find him. So Hannah searches through Heaven; peers in on Jess, Bobby, Ellen, and the rest of the family when the brother's heaven proved to be empty. Ezekiel's search on Earth proved to be just as fruitless. 

He followed the trail of the memories that Sam had deemed most important, the one that his soul followed every time he had passed. Only this time he didn't have Dean with him and as such couldn't find his way into Heaven. Ezekiel could faintly feel Sam's presence through Palo Alto, felt how long he had lingered above the remains of the Sioux Falls home, felt the joy he left behind in a small diner in Louisiana, but he could never seem to quite catch the restless spirit.   
~~~~~

Dean slept on the couch. He checked in on Sam constantly; touching up the lines of the spell and rearranging the blankets around him, but wouldn't allow the others to care for him. Castiel was easy to ward off. A question of how Meg was feeling made him eager to be back at her side and he stopped trying to push Dean to care for himself. Kevin began to accidentally make too much food which he would then leave in the living room for Dean to pick at. Ezekiel only spoke to Dean when he was informing him of where he had been searching and spent the rest of his limited time in the bunker checking in on Sam and ensuring that his body was still contained within the stasis of the spell. 

Two nights later Ezekiel finally caught up and found Sam's soul flitting through a wide open field, lined with trees on one side and far away from any city so the stars shone bright around him. Ezekiel tried to coax Sam into following him back, but he just circled around the area vibrating with a nervous sort of energy. Ezekiel had no choice but to call Dean to try and bring Sam back. 

The moment his brother arrives, Sam's soul shines brighter and flies in happy circles around Dean. Right then it didn't quite matter that Sam's body was still technically dead and that he had no idea how putting his soul back in would go because Sam was here. Sam's soul zipped away then came back to skim across Dean's palm. His fingers tingled and when he breathed out it felt light a huge weight had been lifted off him. 

“Hi Sam.” He put both of his hands together, cupping his palms for Sam to rest in. Though he had rushed out there, eager to bring Sam back home, now he felt calm. He stood there, warmed by Sam's soul, until the horizon began to brighten. “Time to go home,” he said, voice soft as he carried Sam into the Impala. 

As the little ball of light flitted happily through her interior, Dean can't help but smile. When Sam flies up to the dashboard, a burst of static shocks through the radio. Dean laughs as it happens again, the song going garbled when Sam remains in place in front of the radio. “Come on, Sammy, you know the rules. Driver picks the music.” Dean turns it off with a click and even though there was no other sound, he could have sworn he heard Sam laugh. 

He finds himself talking to Sam's soul the whole ride home, which is made much longer by Dean's relaxed driving. “Hey, you remember the first time we went driving alone? I got my license and convinced Dad to let me go grab dinner for us. Took us what, two hours to get to the pizza place and back?” He chuckled, right hand dropping down toward the passenger seat as he remembered running into their father who was returning from the diner when they finally got back. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this at ease. It was almost enough to make him forget how much everything had fallen apart in the last year.

As Dean got closer to the bunker, though, the anxiety began to creep back in. When he walked through the door, Sam held tightly in his hands, he had to admit that he was afraid of returning Sam's soul to his body. Afraid of what would happen between them now that they would have nothing to focus on except each other. Sam would probably leave him. 

 

He held Sam carefully in his hands as Cas washed off the sigil. Everyone looked at him expectantly so he slowly moved forward then held his soul down near Sam's mouth. But Sam's soul hovered over Dean's palm, unmoving and dimming slightly as if he was reflecting Dean's anxiety. Dean cast a furtive glance at everyone gathered around him and pulled Sam closer, curling his body more around the light and whispered a small “Please, Sam, I need you alive.” 

All hesitation gone, Sam settled back into his body, chest arching up with a sudden gasp. His eyes began to dart underneath his closed eyelids and his fingers twitched a few times but other than that his body returned to near stillness. Ezekiel moved to stand at the other side of the bed so Dean wouldn't have to move away. He placed one palm on Sam's forehead and the other on his chest, allowing his grace to flow back into Sam. “His body has accepted his soul. He is a weak but he should recover fine.” Ezekiel healed Sam slowly, easing him into waking up which Sam did with a confused frown.

“Dean?” His voice was hoarse and he cleared his throat before turning a skeptical eye on Ezekiel. 

“We have both healed fine, Sam. There is no need for possession this time.” 

“I don't get it...” Sam struggled to sit up against the headboard and Dean couldn't help but be surprised when Sam didn't protest the assistance he offered. “You mean everything is fine?” 

“Not quite,” Ezekiel answered. “Your body still has much to recover from; however, you will not need my assistance.” Sam let out a relieved laugh that sounded more like a sigh it was so weak. 

“Good. That's good.” He smiled at Dean then looked around the room sluggishly, body exhausted from all he'd been though, and noticed that someone was missing. “Meg? How is she doing?” 

“I am afraid she is not much better off than you. However she is recovering, as will you.” 

“You didn't heal her up?” Sam accused, looking concerned. And Dean snorted. 

“She's not letting anyone but Claaarence,” Dean drew the name out sarcastically. “Anywhere near her.” 

“Well, either way she's happy I'm sure. Since she's not stuck out in the entry anymore.” Sam grinned at the annoyed look on Dean's face. Ezekiel leaned a bit closer. 

“You are well enough currently to take care of yourself. The stiffness in your muscles will fade and the rest of the healing will follow. I did not wish to heal you any further than necessary without your permission.” Sam smiled softly.

“Thank you, Ezekiel. Maybe just make me feel less like an 80 year old when I try to get up?” Ezekiel took Sam's arm to help him about of bed, healing him as he stood. Dean folded his arms across his chest, lips pursing as he glared at the angel. Sam clapped him on the arm, feeling a bit wobbly but much better than he had while in bed. “Come on, I want to go see her.” 

Dean trailed obediently out after Sam and into Castiel and Meg's room where the others were. Kevin jumped up, exclaiming his name happily. Sam pulled him into a hug, then followed Castiel to stand beside Meg's bed. 

“Hey Meg. You holding up okay?” She grinned and winked at Cas. 

“How can I not be? I'm getting waited on hand and foot, just as I should always be.” Sam sat on the edge of the bed and they all talked for a few minutes, half trying to figure out what they were all going to do now, half trying to not think about it. Ezekiel cleared his throat and excused himself, turning in surprise when Sam followed him out. 

“Hey, Ezekiel. I just wanted to say thank you for helping us with-” he gestured his arm, trying to come up with the right words. “I guess with just everything. I mean we wouldn't have been able to get Heaven back open and Hell shut up for good if you weren't helping us.” 

“It was my pleasure Sam. I only regret that our initial meeting had been so...disturbing.” Sam shrugged, hands swiping over his thighs before he looked back at the angel. 

“Well, we worked it out. And the second time around it was handled much better, so that's the least I could ask for.” Ezekiel frowned, speaking clearly in the hopes that Sam would believe his words.

“Though I am no better than the others who have treated you so poorly in the past and as such have no right to speak on the matter, I wish for nothing more than your safety and happiness in the future.” Sam regarded him thoughtfully, mulling over his words carefully as if debating on their truth. But Ezekiel wasn't expecting an answer so he extended his hand with a small smile. “Should you ever find yourself in need of my assistance again, please do not hesitate to call upon me.” 

EPILOGUE

The bunker was surprisingly calm considering all of its residents and their various conditions. Meg was quick to recover, but also more than happy to milk her recovery in order to get Castiel to do any number of outrageous tasks for her. Kevin had taken on the job of dispatching hunts that they found to others because, for once, Dean wasn't itching to get back out on the job. He did leave a few times for close cases to help weed out any remaining demons topside, but being cut off from the power of Hell meant that they were essentially mortal now. 

With more free time on his hands, Sam had taken up organizing the bunker, working with Cas to update the system in the library as well as go through the storage rooms one by one. Sam healed up fairly quickly. Thankfully, there was no need to worry about complications like the last time Sam's soul had to be returned to him, so really things were going far too easy for the brother's liking. Though considering the situations above and below, they were content to let things be. 

Sam still slept in his own room. Dean got a kiss goodnight and occasionally one during the day, but Sam showed no signs of wanting to return to their former relationship. At least Sam didn't ever flinch away from his touch anymore, and Dean comforted himself with that thought while trudging back to his room. The door was open, the light on and he could hear someone shuffling around. Mouthing curse words under his breath and staring up at the ceiling in exasperation he stomped in. 

“Meg stop going through my shit!” He jolted to a stop when he saw not Meg, but Sam putting clothes away in the dresser and laughing. 

“You know that she's never going to stop fucking with you right? You just gotta stop reacting to it, man.” Dean blinked stupidly, mouth open in a silent question as he stared at Sam who just smiled, closed the drawer and stored his duffle back in the closet. 

“Why aren't you in your room?” Dean turned his hand and pointed to the wall that their rooms shared. 

“Well, I can go back if you'd like,” Sam responded softly, patiently fond. 

“No. No!” Dean responded more forcefully the second time as he finally caught up with what was happening. A blinding grin lit up his face as he stepped forward and grabbed Sam's face, kissing him through his smile. “Your ass is getting in that bed and not getting back out any time soon.” Sam rested his hands on Dean's forearms, touching their foreheads together briefly before stepping back and motioning for Dean to sit down. 

“There's something I gotta give you first.” Dean frowned in confusion but did as he was asked, watching Sam close the door and then take something out of his pocket. He held it in a tight fist and when he sat down next to Dean, one leg tucked in under himself, Dean could see how nervous he had suddenly become. Dean rested one hand on Sam's knee and tucked Sam's hair behind his ear with the other. He traced his thumb along the line of Sam's cheekbone and smiled encouragingly. 

“I, uhh, I know you might not want it back. But I know how much it meant to you for a   
while there, and after everything we've been through since, I'm hoping that it might mean something to you again since it's still....” Sam trailed off, fist opening slowly and Dean's mouth went dry. Sam's thumb brushed over the small bronze amulet that he was now cradling in both of his hands. Dean's grip on Sam's knee tightened but he didn't speak, knowing that Sam had more to say. 

“I was so angry and so hurt when you tricked me into being possessed. And it was for a lot of reasons but a big part of it was that I wished so desperately that we could go back to the way we were. Before the apocalypse, before demons became run of the mill, before all of this shit just kept happening. And I forgive you Dean. I forgive you for what you did and I love you and I want to go back to the way it was between us.” He glanced up at Dean with a rueful smile. “And I figured with Hell and Heaven and all those assholes out of our way, what better time to start than now?” Steeling himself, Sam turned more towards his brother and carefully held out his hand, arm moving slowly as if his muscles weren't quite on board with what his brain was telling them to do. “So long story short,” Sam chuckled and smiled at Dean, cheeks pinking. “Do you want this back?” Dean laughed on a hard exhale. 

“I can't believe you kept this fuckin' thing hidden all this time.” Sam flinched and before Sam could continue to misunderstand Dean grabbed Sam's hands between his. “Of course I want it back, of course I do. Please?” Sam grinned, eyes still a little wet as he handed it over and Dean put it on, the amulet catching on his forehead in his haste to wear it. Sam rested his hand over where it lay on Dean's chest. 

“It looks good,” he whispered, leaning forward and kissing Dean soft and wet. Dean groaned out a 'Sammy' against his lips and pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss as if he never wanted to stop. They kissed until they couldn't breathe and Dean pulled away to trail kisses down Sam's neck, hands sliding up the back of Sam's shirt and he moaned greedily for the touches that he hadn't been able to give for ages. 

“Dean please. Please c'mon.” Sam tugged at Dean’s shirt until he was forced to move back. He pulled off Dean’s shirt, but before he could pull him back in, Dean held him at bay with a hand on his chest.

“Wait. You gotta tell me what you want. How far do you want this to go?” 

Sam whined in the back of his throat and pulled off his own shirt. “Want you to fuck me Dean.” Though his words were steady his cheeks still flushed and Dean grined at the sight of it, kissing the pink away from his skin. 

It takes them far too long to undress because they have to keep stopping, kissing more to desperately try to make up for lost time. Finally Dean gets to see all of Sam spread out underneath him and though he can't wait to get his hands all over him, he takes his time looking at him. He traced the lines of Sam's muscles with the very tips of his fingers, following them down to his hips where he turned his hands and held on. His thumbs fit neatly into the v of Sam's hips just like they used to and Dean's hit with a renewed sense of guilt for everything he put Sam through over the past few months. 

“God Sam I'm so sorry.” Sam hit his knee into Dean's side as a slight rebuke. 

“Later, alright? We'll talk about it later.” 

Dean nodded then leaned over to the bedside table and dropped the bottle of lube onto the bed. “Still want it?” Sam spread his thighs wider, biting his bottom lip after whining out a quiet 'please'. 

Dean slicked up his fingers and rubbed them against Sam's hole, pressing lightly just to feel the give. He teased Sam like that for a little longer, watching, and the moment he opened his mouth to complain Dean slid his finger all the way in, grinning at the shocked gasp it forced out of Sam. He kept his movements slow, and if Sam asked him why he would say because it's been a while. 

But really he just missed the desperate little sounds Sam made, the way he shifted his hips against Dean's hand. He worked him up to two fingers before shifting down the bed, breathing hot against the head of Sam's dick, his jaw aching for the weight of Sam in his mouth. 

“Nonono,” Sam reached down and pushed Dean's face away from his dick; the skin on his forehead stretching back as Sam pushed, making his shocked expression distort comically. Sam flushed and they both paused, starting at each other awkwardly until Dean shifted his head away from Sam's hand. He started to pull his fingers out but Sam was quick to grab his wrist and keep them inside him. “I didn't mean to stop doing that.” 

Dean blinked a few times. “So then what's wrong?” 

“I don't want to come yet, alright?” Sam replied with a huff. He pushed Dean back a bit so he'd have room to roll over. He rutted against the sheets a few times, hands gripping the pillow tight as he adjusted his position. “Do it like this. Don't wanna come until you're inside me.” 

Grinning Dean slapped Sam's ass then squeezed it as he slid his fingers back into him. “Whatever you want Sammy, as long as you keep giving me a view like this.” He didn't need to see Sam's face to know the eye-roll he definitely gave in response. Dean pressed a third finger in, keeping pressure on his prostate, thumb toying with Sam's rim. 

Sam's hips shifted restlessly trying to get more then immediately trying to pull away from the sensation. Dean watched the strong flex of his thighs, the dimples appearing in his ass every time he thrust forward and had to lean forward to bite at the nape of his neck. He mouthed along his shoulder blades and whispered all the cheesy shit that he never said at full volume. “Turn over, sweetheart. Wanna see your face.” 

But Sam was too quick to comply, turning eagerly and bashing his elbow into Dean's cheek. 

“Oh shit! Dean, are you okay?” Dean just help up a finger, feeling a tingling in his nose and waiting to see if he would sneeze. When nothing happened he shook his head and opened and closed his jaw a few times to stretch out his face. “I'm so sorry!”

“It's okay. Let's just hold off on the rough stuff until later, yeah?” Sam laughed softly, taking Dean's face in his hands and kissing him all over. 

Sam let Dean lay him back down and Dean hooked his elbows under Sam's knees to hold him open. Dean pressed inside him with one long thrust and Sam let out a hungry groan as he clung to Dean's back. “Fuck, almost forgot how good you feel.” Dean groaned, rolling his hips in a steady rhythm, pulling his cock almost completely out before pushing back in.

The thud of the amulet bouncing off of Dean's chest every time he thrust filled the room and Sam was transfixed by it. Dean would have been offended if he didn't feel the exact same way. Leaning down, he let their chests press together so Sam could feel the pinch of the tiny horns against his collarbones. Groaning out his brother's name, Sam hooked his ankles around Dean's thighs to pull him in closer and Dean gave up on trying to move. He dropped his elbows on either side of Sam's head, just grinding his hips forward and pressing as far into him as he could. 

Sam panted and squirmed happily underneath him. Dean grinned, feeling the vibrations of Sam's moans from where his lips were pressed against his neck. He arched up a bit, letting Sam get a hand between them to wrap around his cock while Dean whispered filthy encouragements in his ear. 

“Dean, Dean, God.” Sam's hand sped up, knuckles brushing against Dean's stomach. Dean wanted to pull back and watch, wanted to see Sam get himself off, but couldn't bring himself to pull back far enough. Instead, he satisfied himself with marking up Sam's neck, already looking forward to seeing them the next day and feeling that bone deep satisfaction he felt upon seeing his marks littering his skin. 

Dean shifted his hips, adjusting his angle to hit Sam's prostate, and didn't let up. He swallowed Sam's cries until Sam had to pull away for air, gasping as his stomach contracted, legs twitching as he climaxed. Dean rode it out with him, reaching down to grasp Sam's thigh as he filled him up. Dean exhaled on a long groan then collapsed on Sam, laughing and kissing him once before rolling them both onto their sides. 

Sam, sweaty and smiling, wrapped himself around Dean, wiggling to get comfortable and stealing most of Dean's pillow just like he used to. Dean didn't waste any time complaining, nor did he make any attempt to get up and clean them besides a quick wipe with a corner of the sheet. He just ran his fingers through Sam's hair and tucked him in closer. 

“I love you, Dean.” Sam whispered, sounding as if he was afraid to say it out loud. Dean kissed his forehead, keeping his lips there for several long seconds, then lifted Sam's hand to wrap around the amulet. 

“I love you too, Sammy.”


End file.
